I become judgmental towards
village leaders, due to extreme cold and snowing, women wouldn't come or would
come late while walking over snowing road for Lashi Dillichaur, Jumla in
December 2013. Due to heavy snow, took complete 7 hours walk from Khalanga
Jumla, felled down several times along with donkey and felt like CARAVAN. It
was about 1 o’clock, the very cold, slightly dark floor was occupied by bunch
of women and few men. I felt guilt badly on my thought and promised with myself
not to repeat again. I was so confused
on how could I make most effective discussion in such group; most were
uneducated, speaking pure Jumli Khas language and covered their head by big
scarf called gumcho in local language. However, I always enjoyed with such
group because easy to brain wash for transformation without delearning and
learning also sustained than educated and urban people.
I was just in introductory
session; a mobile rang with high volume from the side of women’s row. One woman
with big smile stood up and went outside to speak. I was following her
conversation to set the ground rules about switched off. I regret again because
she talked about the governance of a cooperative and she is serving as
president so she insisted for calling meeting. If I were asked to everyone to
switch off or kept on mute, how they would access with information? They
neither can check text message nor check the incoming calls.
In order to enter in to the issues
regarding to women’s right and empowerment, I simply asked about to list down
the history of four women in group. It was voluntarily asked four women and
asked group to work on her life history. Women were came extra exceptionally
with issues and concerns regards to right of rural, poor, marginalized
woman. My soul was crying to hear from
them, how strong they are, how much struggle they have gone through, how much
difficult their environment and how lucky I was, got opportunity to learn and
inspired so much.
 |
| Mrs LauriMaya Dhami |
One group started to present of
Mrs Laurimaya Dhami, the same woman who was talked earlier over phone. She was
born in Patrashi village in Jumla where is about 10 hours walk from
headquarter. She had got marriage at 11 years old as arrange marriage with the
man from next village. She decided to go to file the case when her husband
brought next woman at home. She was so dedicated on her love and dedication by
considering her luck. Her family and relatives were standing on her opposition
and put her as stigma. Finally, she got divorce thought the process was so
tough for her due to uneducated, rural and poor woman. It was 45 years back
where there gender responsive policies were not in conception in history of
Nepal’s women’s right movement. Though she got divorce and started to live at
maternal house. She did second marriage on her own decision with bit old man at
Loom, Dillichaur, Jumla. In her own saying, she did compromise with age because
she was suffering from various forms of abuse and stigma due to divorce and
single. There was mutual love and respect regardless second marriage, divorce
and all. She got six children, all are educated and independently living at six
different houses. Unfortunately, her second husband died 14 years back due to sickness,
which was not cured by Jumla hospital. Though the Jumla has diverse practice
regards to widow, she started to use all colors and jewelries after a year by
her own decision. She just ignored what other said and though about her. She
stated, bahini who was crying with me while I was crying, who slept with me
when I slept with empty stomach. I had just shake from her saying because she
wasn’t less as educated woman activist in Kathmandu. Now she is not only a
gender facilitator in her community, she is holding decision making positions
of more than half dozens of committees, lobbying with political leaders and
government authorities at local and district levels. She resolved many disputes
in the community related with gender based violence, land, sharing of family
property. Her group defined her as role model, as catalyst, as champion, as
peace leaders, as connector, as mediator, as mother, as activist etc. She also
a final decision maker on her all economic activities including her land.
In 2006, the mother’s day
approaching and I had spoken with my mom, Ms. Ganga Maya Paudel, over phone, a
2 weeks before of mother’s day. I didn’t go home unless Dashain and emergency
situation. My mom didn’t expect me on mother’s day but she requested, I was
completely happy with you all from your care, I didn’t need anything during
mother’s day. If you would manage money, please think not to do KRIYA after
death of mine, you can donate to school for educating poor, dalit girls. She
further said, who is come and say that I was in heaven and I was in hell, so no
need to spend the money for all. Since I knew her, kept on saying that `Crying
is NOT Final Solution’ of any life. Thus, education is very important to
everyone especially for woman, she should live independently in each walks of
her life. She gave two example to everyone while chatting in field, forest and
everywhere; i) I carried a sags of rice that I grown to rice mills but I can’t
say how much kilo was it, it was so embarrassing while asking with mill owner,
ii) I always scared to throw even piece of paper by thinking that was related
with valued documents. She was not happy with saying only, she contributed many
children of her friends and relatives by giving money or directly giving
notebooks and other reading materials. She was sick since I knew though awake
up early morning with the signal of eastern star or cock’s bark. She prepared roasted corn and
tea for us so we had to study till sun raise and we had to read loudly so she
could follow us while she was busy in household chores. More importantly, I was
quite young, she shared with me about gender and caste discrimination. Why I
was sat in low level during the feast of higher caste neighbor. She never
shouted me when I ate at dalit’s house. Likewise, she spoke against gender
based violence in the community and encouraged me to serve others who are
suffering from poverty, gender and caste. As a result of her education, I had
put on fire (dagbatti) on pyre (CHITTA). She was always casted her vote as her
choice.
 |
| Late Mrs GangaMaya Paudel |
The above mentioned examples of
Mrs Laurimaya and Gangamaya are only the representative examples of local women
leaders. Without having formal education, training, more specifically without
having knowledge on human rights, they are breaking the silence in the
communities; they spoke against set social values and norms that are
discriminating women in many ways. Of
course, they have gone with series of difficulties, challenges and obstacles
while they stand against society. Indeed, they are REAL peace leaders at the
local level who contributed in making strong foundation national peace building. Today’s many such women are
working with political leaders, village secretaries, government authorities and
NGOs to claim their rights specially in resource generation and sharing. They
also significantly contributed in rural agro-economy and development. They are
engaged in health, education, natural resource management, infrastructure,
breaking traditional harmful practices, saving and credits, cooperatives etc.
Very sadly, many local women leaders were played multiple roles during a decade
long insurgency in Nepal. In Jumla, Mrs Laurimaya was struggling to support
directly by sending her children in to combatants, joining their mass
activities and so on where as in Chitwan, Mrs Ganga Maya, was provided shelter
for combatants, foods, telephonic service etc.
Without knowing any theoretical perspectives, they are practicing UNSCR
(United Nations Security Council Resolutions) 1325, 1820, CEDAW, and Nepal’s
Interim constitution 2007.
These all activities they carried
for their satisfaction because they considered these situations are urgent to
address and mitigate not for well paid, promotion, aboard going, awards etc.
They are worried about their children and grand children like Mrs Laurimaya and
Gangamaya. Unfortunately, they are disappearing slowly because the life
expectancy of most of them is shorter due to poor socio-economic background.
They are unable to write by themselves except oral history. In this situation,
their activism, their successes and inspiring stories are missing sadly. In
Kathamndu, September 21, the Ministry of Peace and Construction, the NGOs, UNs
are commemorating International Peace Day every year. They don’t know or ignore
to know what is happening in the ground by whom and how. There are multiple
confounding factors of ignorance by Kathamndu’s activism due to don’t have
English language, poverty, poor get up, non political, living in rural areas
associated by dirty/ugly, excessive ignorance etc. And they also forgetting to
recognize them and document their powerful stories to move country.
If the Government, UN agencies,
and NGOs really are seeking tangible results in peace building and
reconciliation process in Nepal, the local leaders should get attention in
recognition, their capacity building with linking international and national
human rights laws/policies and comprehensive enabling environment to blow
otherwise there are ample of evidences of relapse conflict in Nepal in a way
and the other. It is still not too late to reconsider the strategies and
actions to significantly engage with Local Women Peace Leaders and recognized
them for sustained peace and prosperous Nepal. My big salute is to Mrs
Laurimaya, Gangamaya and all who sacrifice their life for cause at grassroot’s
movement.
