Why do we engage men and boys in
ending Violence against Women and Girls (VAW)? It is not a synonym of other VAW
projects for the sake of securing funding or showcase of solidarity. It is all
about changing the Mind-Set for transformation or long lasting change in the
society and to cultivate a culture of gender equality which leads towards the
path of peace and prosperity.
It is very easy to say and many
individuals and organizations are nowadays coming forward to extend the
solidarity in engaging men and boys in Nepal even though formally the campaign started
already 2007. Here, I like to share a public statement I hear in public bus every
day in Kathmandu, don’t you have your mother, sister at your home……..? Indeed,
the fundamental gap is here. What did we do regarding to VAW in more than two
decades activism in Nepal ? Do we
educate our children, our students, audiences etc. by saying, women
have equal human rights as men virtue of human being ? Aren’t the women’s right also human
rights?
The women’s right movement is
clouding with negativism towards men as perpetrators, as power abusers etc.
Indeed, men are not born violent. They are learning the violence culture from
beliefs, attitudes and norms what it means to be a man throughout their
socialization process. Here, I would say
manization process. Meanwhile, many men are in leadership positions, working
in humanitarian setting and mostly women and girls experienced various forms of
violence at home, street, school, workplace and everywhere. Unfortunately, in
many mundane cases, both men and women are not aware whether they are
committing or experiencing violence In this connection, engaging men and boys
is very crucial and urgent in many ways. Because not all men commit violence
and not all men feel responsibility or holding accountable against violence or
they remain silent in front of the violence.
Those who remain silent thought that speaking up against violence is not
their business at all or they lose the prestige or manhood which allows to
continue the violence in the society.
Indeed, underlying causes of violence
is twofold; unequal power relations and harmful beliefs and practices where
power has play in and out, up and down and everywhere and all the time. By and
large, is Nepal’s movement on engaging men and boys just adding a project at
the name of different institution ? It should
beyond of it. It should challenge oneself and others to hold accountability or
should reflect the accountability at personal and relational level. The lack of
conceptual clarity is key hindering factor among actors of MenEngage Alliance
and others today. More importantly, are actors ready to learn and challenge
their personal biases and beliefs? Likewise, are actors really Ally or review
their dynamics of power and privilege while interacting with others. Shifting
power is tough everywhere but possible yet the stereotyped project works never
bring the lasting change in society.
The horizon of MenEngage is
getting wider and urgently demanded by the current political change. Today,
there are many questions floating over the sky of MenEngage Alliance for its significance.
The new constitution 2015 has scope of
changing, formulating new policies, acts towards and around gender equality. Is
MenEngage Alliance ready to take stake on it? For instance, does it show its
commitment in revising the school curricula? Likewise, the culture of impunity
is institutionalized well where culture of silence is flowing along with. Can
alliance members put the VAW desk individually or along with National Women
Commission or Women Police Cell. Today, many known cases are disguised or
hiding because of not getting support from men position holders as well as the
poor mechanism within the system. Can this alliance show its commitment as ally
e.g. can go court by holding the file of poor, dalit, rural women’s case? Or can it stand to make violence free public
transport in Kathmandu? Who will create the gender justice environment in
Kathmandu? Aren’t all members of
MenEngage working in VAW, peace building and women empowerment? what is the
commitment of funding agencies in this regards?
Since last six months, the country
is on fire, unlawful killing, destruction are rampant and there are many women
and girls, men and boys who suffered directly and indirectly. In such horrific
scenario, what is the role of MenEngage? Don’t they speak against it or not
their responsibility to reach out the bottom to start the spark of
dialogue?
To me, it is more important to
count how many women and girls, men and boys protected from VAW, how many
victims or survivors reported and rehabilitated than how many members are
working in various networks, alliances or organization or funding
agencies? Each case is cent percent and should
be valued.
The 16 days VAW 2015 has already
started from November 25. There is competition to host huge program at stars
but who care about the how many survivors from the last years rehabilitate or
what is the trend of violence of the last year or what is the new role for
future. Preaching the slogan by saying, survivors are leaders but who creates
the space for them? The dignity,
confidentiality, respect of survivors for the jargons for the training, whereas
survivors are subject to violence everyday, everywhere as like martyrs died
once, they alive died several times.
How do men transform through voluntarily effort at Jumla. Once, should invest more times, money and have to have deep level of patience if you seek long lasting resulting marginalized areas.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mxf9aA97M8
