The
philosophy of Miteri emphasizes on living together harmoniously and mindfully.
Radha Paudel, activist and author, pieced the philosophy together after
surviving the trauma of Jumla attack in 2001 and while volunteering in the
region afterwards. According to her, “Miteri is an ancient indigenous
practice across Nepal regardless of caste, class, region, religion where mutual
love and respect operate beyond blood and marriage relationship for the goal of
living in togetherness. The birthplace and situation of an individual is not by
choice. Miteri is a proven tool for peace and justice by connecting people from
various strata and levels, reflecting and rethinking the deeds in past and encourage
people to seek the reason of being born as human being in this wonderful world.”Jumla is a wonderful place to realize
the meaning of Miteri– the life-style, the people and scenery all allow a person
to ponder not only one’s existence but also existing among others. Or so was my
experience.
I went to Jumla to mainly learn what the health-care and
education looked like in poor and rural areas of Nepal. However, in this
journey I learned so much more than what I had set out to learn. Jumla provided
me with amazing introspection that I had denied myself for many years. It was
easier to distract myself with the empty busyness of my western life, than to think
about personal goals and morality. To put it in over-used terms, Jumla allowed
me to actually stop and smell the roses. At first, transitioning from the
comforts of the U.S life to minimalist living in Jumla was unsettling to the
say the least. Walking up to my host-family’s house, I felt my mind
freeze with anxiety. I doubted my strength to stay at such location for a whole
month. However, I put my mind at ease by focusing on the beautiful scenery
around me. The house was made of mud, lacked running water and windows, but it
was amidst raw and beautiful nature. It overlooked a deep ravine, and I could
even make out the mountains in the back. The hills were dark green had scatterings
of cattle lazily grazing throughout the day. I made a note to myself to soak in
the beauty. If I was to part with air-conditioner, phones, internet and hot showers,
then I needed to actively appreciate what is around me. In fact, there was a
lot around me to be appreciated. Without internet, laptop or TV, I had time to reflect
on myself and my surrounding. To maximize my reflection, I also started
journaling my thoughts and my activities. When I just sat, and marveled at my
enchanting surrounding, I fell in love. Once in love, it is obviously very
difficult not to care! It is such a simple but crucial aspect of the Miteri
philosophy. Stop. Reflect. ENJOY. When one takes the time to engage themselves
and become vulnerable in nature or whatever surrounding, then that is when one
starts caring. Miteri philosophy applies to respecting nature and caring about
the environment. Living in peace includes being in equilibrium in nature.
The Miteri
philosophy asks to love and respect everyone despite their background, but truly
loving another cannot be done without loving oneself first. For me, loving
myself meant giving myself time to ruminate on my feelings so I can understand
them and then move forward. Loving myself also meant accepting my flaws, inside
and outside. It is what it is. I fell into this habit in Jumla because there
were no mirrors in the house. Here, I wasn’t forced to look at myself in
the mirror every time I washed my hands, went to the bathroom or turned the
corner, unlike most U.S homes. I couldn’t believe how easy it was to
not care about how I looked when there were no mirrors around. I lost my vanity
just like that. The more I devalued outer beauty, the more value I placed on
inner. This is when I began questioning my morality and my involvement with the
world around me. I enjoyed this! It made me feel proud to finally feel like I
am becoming the person I always wished to be.
Loving myself probably came easier because I was also shown
so much love in Jumla. I was amazed with the kindness my host-family and the
community showed me. At the time of my visit, the family consisted of Keshav
Dai (brother), his wife (bhauju), his son (Omkar), his brother, his sister
(Laxmi) and her daughter (Pratima). When I arrived, I was led to the living
room area swarming with flies. I couldn’t believe that people have to
live this way. Yet, everyone had big smiles on their faces. They were happy to
share what they owned. I believe this is a rare quality in this world, not a
lot of people are eager to adopt a stranger into their home and treat them as
their own. My host family sincerely loved me, and wanted the best for me. I
found it so overwhelmingly amazing. I was later led to my room, a small
windowless area where I had to bow my head to avoid hitting my head. Towards
the end of my stay, I learned that they had offered me the best room in the
house. The room was all for myself too. Everyone else shared a bed, and had
worse conditions to sleep in. Keshav and his wife slept on the floor. I have
never felt so respected and honored, and from those feeling rose my own
unconditional love for that family. As Radha didi talked to me about the Miteri
philosophy, this instant popped in my head. In order to live harmoniously
amongst other, everyone needs to respect and love each other as human being. I
do not know if Keshav’s family treated me kindly because I was an educated
foreigner, but I truly believe that they would behave similarly with any of
their guests despite education, ethnicity or status. His family adopted me as a
sister, and I was beaming to belong to such a family. I wondered why most
people in Kathmandu and in the U.S hesitate to immediately become close and
vulnerable with people. It struck me that most people in westernized society
are too immersed in materialism to enjoy the company of human beings. That
might sound extreme, but there is truth to it. There is an emphasis in western
culture on independence, and “yours” vs “mine” concept that deters people from
appreciating and immersing in togetherness. The family in Jumla struggled with money, but
they had happiness in community and people. When people in western cultures
struggle with money, then there is difficulty seen in deriving happiness from
family and community.
Miteri applies to micro (self, family, community) situation
and macro (society, country, world) situation. The concept embodies a
non-violent peace movement because its foundation consists of respect, love and
mindfulness. Violence does not even come into equation when respect and love
are evolved. Radha Didi (sister) always says that lack of war does not
necessarily mean there is peace in the community. Peace includes lack of
violence but also includes equality, education, nutrition and health. So how
can we use Miteri concept to achieve this meaning of peace? We must come back
to the meaning of Miteri– equality despite race, ethnicity, background,
education, caste or status, and love, respect and mindfulness for everything. With
this concept in mind, people have a mantra to reflect when facing various
conflicts whether its conflicts in work, family, community or politics. While
fighting for social causes, Miteri advocates respecting and loving the opposing
force while trying to understand them. Debates and disagreements can only be
settled when people act in love and understanding. Otherwise, they’re bound to
give rise to hatred and resentment. Therefore, Miteri is a non-violent peace
movement. Miteri recognizes every human as equal. If one child receives world
class education in one region, then it is unjust for another to be in an
education-standstill due to the poor education quality. This is what I
witnessed in Nepal. Schools in Kathmandu were providing children with
innovative, competitive education, while some middle-schoolers in Jumla don’t
even know basic math and English. In an ideal world, policy-makers would
recognize the dire need for equal education ALL over Nepal, not just Kathmandu.
With Miteri, they might even picture their own children attending Jumla’s poor
school and feel driven to incite an immediate change. This is the hope with
Miteri– inspire closeness to incite change.
Miteri knows no national boundaries. It can be practiced
anywhere and is applicable in all situations. As a United States residence, I
can speak for certainty that the political climate be more certain if the
leaders embodied some concepts of Miteri. When acting out of love, respect and
mindfulness, people have more empathy. With empathy comes understanding of one another.
When we even begin to attempt understanding others, that is when peace settles
in.
