नफेरिने शर्तहरु

समय बदलीयेछ,
छेउछौका मानिशरू पनि ।
निहालेर हेरेको त
आफ्नो भन्ने पनि ।
नयाँ बर्ष बदलियेर् ,
कहिले बसन्तमा झुल्किन्छ
कहिले शिशिर्को सिरेठोमा ।
बदलियेछ अंगालो,
फेरिएछ शुभकामना पनि ।
फेरिएका रेस्तुरन्ट
गिलासका रङ बिरङ पनि ।  
हाम्रा गन्तब्य यात्रा
यात्राका शहयात्रिपनि ।
तर ताजै छन,  
नबिर्सने नयाँ बर्षहरु,
नफेरिने शर्तहरु,
सदै सदै उस्तै शुभकामना पनि

Buna: A Martyr, A Activist and Inspirator from Badki, Sinja valley, Jumla, Karnali, Nepal

Sinja Valley, part of Badki village, Buna belonged with this village which is far from 12 hours walk  to reach headquarter

Buna was sitting as chief Guest in 16 days VAW program in 2012 , Jumla

She was sitting along with Women Development Officer

She spoke on program as chief guest, what happened in SAFE HOUSE, Jumla

Ready to bring to the River for funeral after postpartum

She committed suicide due to severe depression from GBV

Preparing for funeral by neighbors and I was there with bag (Pink)

Preparing at the bank of Tila River , Jumla

Burn the death body, ending everything 

Buna Rokaya, a Martyar: Governemnt Failed to Provide Justice

Not surprisingly, Nepal has the best policy to ensure the rights of women and girls in many ways. Likewise, Nepal is operating thousand of NGOs and Human Right/Women Right/Right Activists across the Nepal and it is increasing in trend to seen many right based organizations and individuals. Unfortunately, the ratio of killing, kidnapping, acid attack, and other forms of violence is shooting drastically. During the month of the Mangsir (November-December), 2012, 18 Nepali women killed at the name of various reasons but all fall under the Gender Based Violence (GBV) broadly. The government who is the key institutions is failed to provide safety and security even in the immigration office or within the premises of court, police office, office of Women and Child Development Office or at Safe House etc. Women and gilrs are not safe and secure at home, street, school, workplace and everywhere.

Usually the GBV cases are not heard from the west part of the Nepal specially Far West and Mid West due to lack of documentation and responsive civil society organizations and networks as well as government ignored the surveillance mechanism in entire governing mechanism largely. Only very devastating cases or cases which are not disguise at any cost, are come out for discussion  which is already too late to revive the person and become very complex issues.

While celebrating the 16 days activism in globally 2012, Nepal is paying active role, many women were killed due to gender based violence. Among them, Bunu Rokaya is one from the Badki village of Jumla district, Karnali. She is 35 years old, having three children. She had 2 years girl from the second marriage. Her husband raped him indeed while sleeping with other two children after death of her first  husband. He committed to love and marriage so she remained quite but she become pregnant. About five months, her sister in-law recognized and explored the situation. Finally, villagers made consensus and the guy and his family accept as her. She started to stay that house but her husband didn't pay much attention as he committed during rape and after in front of the villagers. The days pass on, she had disputes with mother in-laws several times at the name of kids and other things. One day, by the help of friend, she came to Women Development Office, a government's primary entity to address violence of women's right. She started to stay in the `Safe House' or `Shelter' with her small girl. According to the safe house norms, this is temporary shelter, allow to stay only for 15 days and required special Constitution for more than that. But she was there more than 35 days.

In Dec 8, she was the chief guest along with Chief Justice (District Court) and inaugurated the program jointly. She also spoke in front of the public and ask to provide immediate support to reintegrate home. Her husband has already left home and went to Achham for taking care of goats. So she wanted to back as early as possible because of her two kids. She demanded simply to create enabling environment to initiate dialogue or mediation where her mother in laws involved and get rid of from such violence in future.

All concerned stakeholder; Women Development Office (WDO), Chief of Safe House and Police Officer, were there. It was informed to Chief District Office and almost all district organizations somehow aware on it. Instead of getting prompt justice, she observed the disputes between WDO and safe house. 

Meantime, the police, LDO and CDO also knew about it , she was waiting and waiting with all circumtances at safe house, psychological state due to her children at home. Unfortunately she losed her mental state and become depressive (as mentioned by the villagers). Finally, she committed suicide at the evening in Dec 15, 2012. Due to passing the comments to each others and families matters, again took a time even doing postpartum. After 2 days discussion, CDO, activists and others managed to inform family members and negotiated with them. In Dec 18, postpartum  done and also did the death ritual in Tila River. During death ritual, except family members, none of the activist, representatives of CDO, WDO, safe house representatives were there except Radha Paudel, President of Action Works Nepal. She was only one woman to join the deah ritual. People said that it was a first even where woman involved in death ritual.

In the morning, 19 Dec, 2012, relatives had meeting and also invited civil society organizations and others in order to inquirer with CDO about the further plan. CDO had has almost zero plan for further. Almost all participants spoke up and blamed to the CDO for its negligence. Later, CDO agreed to formed an Inclusive Investigation Committee and provide immediate relief support to three kids and their long term plan. The committee extended its date three days more that applied the end day of 2012. The relatives and neighbors were enthusiastic to support her, later the degree of support, emotions, commitment just faded up. Personally, the formation of investigation committee biased and not properly workout. Indeed, it was policy matters in working gender based violence (GBV) and its response specially safe house.The role of district women, child welfare office and safe house are critical areas to review, analysis to respond GBV.

I was shocked and can’t sleep that night, sometimes, I saw Buna and her life in dream.  I honored to meet her, assist her and participate in her death rituals and justice mechanism so far. I brought the issue in to the national policy discourse. A safety and security of SAFE House included in the demand of GBV movement including Occupy Baluwatar 2013.

 Why Buna was Martyr?

Because it is not a joke to come out home, speak up against family members in Karnali. Buna lived in such as far and traditionally faith village. Further, she was raped and managed later in rapist home. She had more two children. Due to having many dimensions within herself and her society, she came to seek support to Women Development Office but not get the adequate and proper support as supposed to get. Later, she caught severe depression and commit suicide.  she came to the government (a concerned stakeholder) for her legal and other essential treatment.

In addition, she was a chief guest during the interaction program in Dec 8, 2012. She was my source of inspiration. I got opportunity to address because of survivors of gender based violence. Thus, she was martyr for me though no one talk about it and I also didn't like to disclose at that moment but felt guilt. So I wrote this blog for salute her contribution to women's right movement.

My Deep Regret : Not able to Help a Woman who faced Attempted Rape by her Boss: At Human Right Commission, Jumla

April 2013, I was in office of Radio Nari Aawaj, with local women activist in Jumla. A woman called Menaka Pokhrel  (here I disclosed her name because she allow to disclose, hereafter survivor) wanted to meet chief of Safe House, Bhagwati Shrestha, seeking support against attempted rape by her office chief (hereafter perpetrator).

She shared all stories;

• ·         Survivor started to work in Jumla for about 3 years, with her husband. She did second marriage with this husband and he also used to work as security guard. She  joined campus for her further study.
• ·         Perpetrator  recently joined, started to eat with the same kitchen
• ·         It was 30^th day of eating together (Chaitra 3, 2069),  during power cut, about  7.30, he asked to put the warm water, while she supposed to out from his room he attempted for rape. fortunately, she escaped.
• ·         Her husband back from neighbor’s home, then both men fight badly. Perpetrator threatened to them to terminate job of both in case of disclose the reality.
• ·         So, they kept quiet, fortunately or unfortunately, perpetrators  asked justification with Survivor and  terminate job of survivor’s husband.
• ·         Meantime, survivor was in deep sorrow so took 10 days  leave. She was severely  tortured by her husband, blaming  her character.
• ·         In this scenario, she decided to registered the case for justice. It was 9^th day already. She went to police office. Unfortunately, case was not registered. Thus, she was seeking support from the women activists who ran Safe House in Jumla.

We all went to the police office, met woman and man police inspector, office time already over so dispersed to meet next day.

Next day, I had already talked with DIGP Bimla Thapa, few activists, lawyers in Kathmandu  though the case was not registered. Man Police, inspector called perpetrator and asked for resolved. He also called to local women activists, perpetrator also threatened, blamed to them as well. Meantime, I also called Gauri Pradhan , in Kathmandu. He also NOT happy with me and said what type of case you were supporting?  Later, I was quite busy to receive many , phone calls, meeting people and women activists , they all were saying I took forward this case otherwise no women had have voice in Jumla. I got threaten phone calls too.

Resignation Letter from Women's network 

I started to work in Jumla since 2001, I never like to build dependency among the local leaders.  Before I left Jumla, an investigation committee also was in Jumla from  National Human Right Commission.  Finally case was registered at police office, took five days to registered.

In the beginning, local women leaders were really working so hard, updated me, asked me the suggestions. They  meet press, met BAR association and others. Local women leader also resigned from their women’s network at police office.

Press Release by Women's right activists/networks 

Press Meet, but not covered by media 

However, except women leaders and few journalists, majority of the stakeholders police, lawyers, journalist, politicians etc all were on side of perpetrator.  It means that case didn’t get space in media and anywhere. I keep on receiving many phone calls.

Women leaders are not unified, not properly skilled, politically divided , manipulated very easily, hesitate to take stand, low confidence etc so they didn’t like to continue the support to Survivor.

Later, I asked to forward all documents and shared with WOREC, NAWHRD and about more than 50 journalist. I spoke myself with many of them. But no one ready to take this case forward (The reason myself and my organization was not talking lead role because my organization doesn't have a single money, whatever my organization is doing, doing by passion and commitment at voluntarily basis.  Further, myself is a member of WHRD, my organization is working with NAWHRD and WOREC. So referring to these institution is not also wrong at all. I always considered that WOREC is the parent organization to work on GBV in Nepal.

I didn’t see any progress, then survivor came to Kathmandu. I suggested to her o meet NAWHRD, WOREC and Dr Renu Raj Bhandari. Survivor and Dr Renu were worked together at national Human Right Commission when Dr Renu worked as Rapporteur.  Survivor went there, met all in May 2013.  

Survivor again called me in June 2013 when I had had accident but I was keep on thinking about her. I also do not see any interest among women local leaders who were together in the begging. But, there is rumor that this case was manipulated by Radha and so on.

I have experienced of various forms of gender based violence (GBV) since childhood. It took long to realize the GBV and confidence to fight against it. I also engaged to support when I started my professional career though I didn’t have formal education on GBV before 2011.

When I started my full time career in Action Works Nepal, I actively engaged in fighting against GBV. Everyday, I worked on GBV for response and prevention in a way another. Usually, senior, educated women and men consult me.

Today, 10^thday of  16 days VAW activism 2013. It is right after the election for Constitutional Assembly II. Almost all media are working on GBV, 16 days VAW and organizing various activities around GBV and women’s participation. I felt so guilt, remember to Survivor  almost every day. She dared to disclose the situation but no one ready to support at all. About one month ago, I called her but she didn’t respond. I thought she changed her mobile number.

Today, 5 December 2013, again I called her and know about the following facts;

•       she defeated her case in district court, now the case was in PUNARBALOKAN court according to the government lawyer Laxman Aryal
•       She didn’t hear any response from any where
•       She went to Jumla for attempting exam in campus and tried to meet local women leaders they already change their mind and asked for resolved/meditate.  She also paid Nrs 2000 in district court due to filing the case against her office boss. She added, local women leaders blamed me again.

I do not have any complaint towards the local women leaders because they are depressed, deprived and divided politically. I feel sorry with Local Women Leaders, Human Right Commission and lawyers who asked the evidence against attempted rape. Shame L

Here my conclusion:

      How much structural patriarchal society we have specially in rural region e.g. Jumla

      No one ready to take actions, power oriented, working on comfort zone L

      Nepal’s justice mechanism is too biased, lengthy and not survivor friendly L

      Lack of skills, knowledge and mechanism on GBV response and prevention in Jumla

      Long way to go for fighting GBV specially in rural areas

Request: This is the long story, if anyone like to know please feel free to contact, I will connect with Survivor

बसायो तिमीलाई,

बसायो तिमीलाई,
गनायो मलाई ।
तेसैले तिम्ले पीयेउ,
मैले थुके ।
तेसैले,
तिमी पूर्व गएउ,
म दाहिने हानिये ।
तेसैले,
एउटा अध्यारो भित्र,
अर्को उज्यालोमा ।
फरक दिशाका हामी
रहन्छौ कती गनी गनी ।
रस बिनाको बसै