While going through the literature, panellists and audiences
on child marriage and dowry conference at Kathmandu, March 18, 2016, organized
by Child Marriage and Dowry Eradication, National Campaign, Nepal, I deeply
hurt and found gap in understanding the concepts. Indeed, it demands inter- sectional
understanding and inferential way forward to get results on time. Here is my
stake regarding child marriage and dowry.
1.
Biased in Analysis and Program: the literature,
activists, and all are claiming that the child marriage and dowry exist in eastern
Terai mostly. It is really not true. As
diverse culture and tradition of Nepal, the child marriage and dory is practising
across country. Unfortunately, the western Nepal doesn't prioritize for the
state and non-state actors for research and work. One size doesn't fit to all,
the similar kinds of analysis and same forms of activities and strategies doesn't
fit to all caste, regions, religions and all to abolish child marriage and
dowry. In over 20 years’ career, I have travelled 6o districts of Nepal and it
is prevalent everywhere in various degrees.
As result, girls are suffering from poor physical and mental illness,
deprivation from opportunities such as education, work etc, low status of women
in all sectors and levels, encountered with various forms of violence including
fire, acid attack, rape and death.
2.
Where is 11 years of girl’s life: No
doubt that the child marriage and dowry is everyone’s business and affected to
women and men and girls and boys but girls and women are suffering from
multi-folds of issues throughout their life. The child marriage is started
about after12 years now a day. Sadly, the state and non-state actors forget the
11 years of girl’s life which is very crucial for her nutrition, health,
education and preparation for menstrual health hygiene and so on. More importantly,
the culture or socialization during childhood is very important to pull towards
house/family or bonding with maternal house/ family and dreaming for future.
For instance, in Jumla, a 7 years’ boy gets full dadu (a material which is used
for putting out the stuffs like scoop) of milk or meat whereas 13 years’
daughter no or gets little milk and meat. In other hands, her brother, mother,
grandparents are constantly saying to her, you
should go other’s house, shut up, this property not for you, I am giving this
food, sending good (private) school because he (son) would take care of me during
old age where as you went to husband’s house. That kinds of conversations, girl
grows with feeling of low status, confidence and insecure for her future
gradually. In others words, these are the pushing factors for child marriage. The
nature of dialect is bit different but the similar story at Janakpur, Morang,
Jhapa and everywhere. Meantime, girls are growing or puberty starts. As results
they are pulled by the opposite sex. They don’t see any consequences for future
at all, only see the fun, entertainment, roaming new places etc. In many rural
areas no matter whether it is Jumla or Parsa, girls keep on watching the Indian
serials which also encourage for same. Even they don’t know about their bodily
changes and not thinking about the immaturity for sex and baby. To cut the
story short, girls like to elope in urban and many rural areas on their choice where
the parents don’t like to get her marriage. As defined by WHO, they are not
position for making choice because considered as child. Thus the culture,
childhood is important to build her as physically, mentally strong and enhanced
her negotiation and bargaining capacity of herself, family and community. Principally,
school is the second home of each child after home.
Though many girls are out of school and government has program on education for
all in (progress. But the school is not creating an enabling environment for
the children specially girls). The school hasn’t have female teachers, gender responsive
male teachers, no water and toilet for MHM and rampant of sexual abuses and
exploitation or school is not safe at all. Thus, school and home is pushing out
the girls and the age, romance are pulling them out.
3.
Recognizing the sex: the state and
non-state actors often forget the point to hit the hammer for abolishing child marriage
and dowry. What would be reflection of the immediate parents when they first
recognize sex of their child. Mostly, they considered that daughter is burden
for responsibility for rearing, schooling, wedding etc and son is considered as
diamond regardless the class, education, region, religion, activism etc. Each
action or behaviour of an individual is directly contributing either for peace
or conflict or empowering their children or disempowering children but merely
not recognized by the parents at large in Nepal.
4.
Gaps in campaign: Often the
activities are more focused on awareness raising, policy advocacy. These
activities are also important but the activities should reach out to the girls
and parents who have baby girls. The
activities should focus on pulling and pushing factors which designated for
positive actions/results rather inputs.
1.
Empower girls:
the girls should educate or mentor in a ways that they denied early marriage and
dowry by themselves. They have to challenge to their parents and societal norms
at large.
2.
Empower
parents by providing livelihood options: The parents who scared from their
poverty for education and caring of girls, their confidence will have enhanced from
livelihood opportunities. The livelihood activities should in full picture
rather giving pieces of support. It should be interest and skills of parents
and compatible with demands of markets.
3.
Ensure school for safety, confidentiality,
respect and quality education (anti- sexual abuse and exploitation policy): it has sets of activities, I don’t
like to discuss details here. In short, school should hold children.
4.
Mobilize
REAL boys, men and political leaders: Without knowing the theoretical base
of advocacy, rights and all, many boys, men and political leaders are doing
outstanding performance to eliminate child marriage and dowry. Such people
should be hero and take leadership of the campaign.
5.
Celebration
of real success: The campaign should
reach the bottom or ground to extract the successful stories who speak, stand
and take action against child marriage and dowry. The successful stories
suggest to capture few questions such as how they overcome with social stigma,
what is their battles, how they determined to share property equally etc.
Listening same stories, same people is so discouraging. I shared my story while I spoke. My parents were poor, illiterate and
living in rural village of Chitwan in 42 years back. My parents transfer the
culture of value of education so we all went to school and have good positions
at this moment. They never pushed to have marriage as ours neighbours done. I
am 42 years by certificate, I never married woman and I am working 100 % full
time volunteer for organization called Action Works Nepal. My late mom and dad
often worried about me when I was about 25 for my marriage but my negotiation
power increased due to having education, property (dad allocated the piece of
land to all 5 daughters, son, wife and himself 20 years ago while Nepal hadn’t
have policy on it). Thus the bargaining or negotiation capacity is learned from
education, property and equal behaviour from home. More importantly, the
culture is human made so we can change according to our needs and rights. Now,
in my community and family, girls are getting property from their parents.
6.
Provision of incentives: The campaign should lobby with government to
provide incentive to parents, girls and boys who defend the child marriage and
dowry like scholarship or vocational trainings or placement of jobs etc. in
order to speaking up or breaking the social norms at parental and girls/boys
levels.
7.
Research, documentation and dissemination: the
multi method research should be place in consideration of national diversity in
order to understand the underlying causes of child marriage and dowry and to redress
it.
8.
Pressurize for law enforcement: Who
will take care of if any girl or boy or parent like to complain the case of
child marriage and dowry. Merely none of the stakeholders particularly political
leaders are not support in this regards. The policies on violence against women
and girls are more focus on physical violence, trafficking, slavery but not such
issues. The use of facebook and
mobile encourage to use it for raising their voice, enlarge their campaign and
prompt response system in case of forced marriage or any other violence
associated with it. Nepali community failed to enjoy with technology and usually
confined with negative outcomes. Nepal has 68 % mountains so we encourage to
make itlization (use of IT as much as possible
in daily life of rural people) for progressive development.
Both child marriage and dowry are political issues and the outcome of gender
discrimination, inequality, patriarchal mind-set of actors that fuelled by
poverty, conflict, disasters and other human made disasters thus need proactive
actions to overcome these issues.
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| Participants of Program |
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| An evidence of mine, a member of panellist, I don#t find the photo of mine at their facebook page so I posted it |
