Urgency to speak about Dignity of menstrurators by boys and men

ROB: Will you explain in the piece why this is an important issue for men and young men to be advocates? 

My father who never ever been to school, struggled for bread and shelter in the remote part of Nepal , about 50 years back, he sent his five daughters to school and treated them as equal as my brother by allowing us to put the fire on pyre of death body of our mother, and so on. Similarly, when I taught him about the process of menstruation, since then he never imposed any forms of restrictions during menstruation. As my father, there are many fathers or men are not only supporters, change makers, allies but also holding accountability at personal and interpersonal level without having any orientation or training around human right or advocacy. Thus, all men are not same. Today, global community is not only struggling with CoVID-19, pandemic but also much suffering with shadow pandemic where girls and women are not feeling safe at their homes from with their men members. Globally, there is too much investment in terms of time and money towards elimination of sexual and gender based violence (SGBV), improving the sexual and reproductive health rights (SRHR) and promoting human right. By living through more than four decades of my struggle or learning, I puzzled and questioned to myself, ` what is reason that we, globally, are not reaching at satisfactory level for eliminating GBV’. After many years’ struggles, I found the answer. The global community is itself living in paradoxes. We, global community do not like to unlearn and reach out the underlying cause for SGBV? And we are not bringing the right person for solving the problem. The first and foremost, we often ignore or biased towards menstruation and taboos, stigma, restrictions, discriminations, violence associated with menstruation. In this planet, the menstruation remained as silenced, and considered `impure’ for last four billions years, since the time of Homo Sapience. The Global South Coalition for Dignified menstruation, a global network, claims that the taboos, stigma, restrictions, discriminations during menstruation is practicing across the globe with different forms, magnitude and names. Regardless the menstrurators location, the construction of power takes place at home due to silence around menstruation. Between the age of 6-12 years, boys considered themselves `pure’, `powerful’ and `privileged’ where the girls considered themselves `impure’, `powerless’ and `underprivileged’ without having menstruation. This is the bottom line while talking SGBV or holding accountability. Because, as a socialization process, girls converted as victim due to not having courage to say `NO’ with their brothers, mother and father. Likewise, boys converted as rapist or perpetrators due to power over to with his siblings and others. We, family or society, pushed them in such conditions. A girl who remained silence against her brother for bad touch how could she say `No’ to her co-worker or partner or husband in future? How would this girl seek the help for unsafe sex? How she could demand the decent work in industry even she is CEO of that. How the HIV could prevent? In other hand, boys, profoundly become vocal, visible, and enjoy the privileges and misuses the power. Despite having advancement in science and technology, we merely not teach our boys that you born because of menstruation and menstrual blood is pure. Therefore, you are responsible to speak about the essence and purity of the menstruation. If he holds accountability at home since childhood, he continuously hold accountability throughout the life no matter where he does live. In other hand, he would speak about not only about menstrual discrimination but also speak up against any forms of violence against girls and women. If a boy treat his sister as equal human being as him, he could treat equally to all girls, partners, wives and everyone at everywhere. Regardless of region, religion, class, each menstrurators deserve the dignity during menstruation and throughout the life. Dignity is been using by almost all stakeholders since the Human Right Declaration, as attributes without any condition. Dignified menstruation is a holistic approach, where the menstruation considered more than natural biological phenomena or menstruation as a complex and multifaceted phenomena. It entails freeform any form of taboo, stigma, abuses, discrimination, restrictions, violence associated with menstruation throughout the life. According to the UN’s definition, the following violence; physical assault, punishment defying culture, rape, attempted rape, sexual harassment, verbal abuse, confinement, social exclusion, denial of access to resources and services; school, work, industry, prayers, water sources etc., are forms of SGBV that caused or directly associated with menstrual practice. In this connection, without having dialogue on dignity of menstruator, how could the SGBV prevent? The interventions around prevention is so superficial and traditional which fails to address the gender norms and unequal power relationships at deeper level. Since 1979, CEDAW is popular instrument, but it fails to acknowledge the urgency to address menstrual discrimination at large. It is just looking for the incidences and put menstrual practices under the traditional harmful practices. Other interventions focused on hygiene. Likewise, the SRHR got attention since 1994 where menstruation is like nowhere and everywhere. Without having confidence on menstruation, how could someone bargain with choice of contraceptives? Currently, `leave no one behind’ is popular everywhere but these 17 goals do not acknowledge the urgency of dignity of menstrurators at all where nine goals are not possible to achieve without having dialogue on dignity of menstrurators. The distributing of menstrual products or awareness raising or infrastructure are not primary cause for discrimination and violence. The living with `powerlessness’ or `dehumanization’ and limit themselves for eating, touching, mobility and participation are critical for prevention of SGBV. As an imposer; brother, father, husband, faith healer, policy maker, academician, NGO head etc, for taboo, stigma, restriction, discrimination, violence associated with menstruation, boys and men are the part of problem. In other hand, they also directly limit themselves from assimilation with menstrurators. More importantly, the immediate and long term negative impact of menstrual discrimination has high cost because menstrual discrimination played a role as cause and effect simultaneously. For instance, the restriction for not touching books or attaining school as immediate impact for emotional health and education and at longer term, trapped with early or child marriage and deprivation from getting sounds economic opportunities. The impact of menstrual discrimination is not linear at all and impacts the lives of girls, women and entire plant in circumvent manner. Unfortunately, it is yet to become of priority of global development and boys and men as well. In order to reconstruct the power since childhood or break the cycle of violence, this is high time to hold accountability by boys and men since childhood at home; a primary place for SGBV and primary unit of politics.