#Cultural Silence: #plough at Lamjung

Scrolled down for brief note

First I noticed that farmers ploughed while we were waiting for meeting with #CFUG members at #Gaushahr,

I went down and started the conversation regarding drought, farming and ploughing 

Started to negotiate for ploughing, discussing why gender discrimination  denial for plough to women

They kept on denied so I asked to remind my childhood by sowing corn

I was slow in the beginning due to long gap and took time to convience 

Trying to catch up

Running, I installed piece of corn about 1 ft interval

Finally I Plough

View from my room

View from field 

Women supposed not to plough according to social norms that I heard from childhood. My sister Samjhna and myself had done it when we were quite young like 10-12 years old ( I didn't remember exact date). I encouraged to Samjhna  for getting support from parents if they would had shout. Samjhana agreed and no one scolded at all.

Later, when I had worked with CARE International in Nepal as Team Leader/Program Manager, we organized plough ceremony at Sarlahi in support of partner organization, BSS where Anita was Program coordinator.

I didn't get an opportunity to continue indeed. Feb 25, 2016, I was in Gaushar as a part of training of Haraiban/CARE program at Lamjung. When I saw that the farmers were engaged on it, I quickly changed my mind and jumping in to field without telling any secrete to my friends. Later, Arun followed me and he took these photos unfortunately, the mobile no memory.

Wife was agreed with me but she whispered, man wouldn't work at all once we started to plough so let them do. At least they are doing a task.

Her husband was saying,didn't do please, there would be come hurricane,landslide or anything bad here in land.I was joking with him, wow, that would be grateful because we had drought, I had doubt whether this corn germinate or not and we couldn't bring the water from river Marsyandi.

Finally, I made it. We made so many jokes and laughs throughout stay but enhanced confidence among participants and villagers about the gender roles for women and men.

आकाश उदार छ, उदार छैन त, राज्य,

आकाश उदार छ,
उदार छैन त, राज्य,
बेलुन झै फुक्छ,
फुटाउछ घरी घरी आकाशमा,
मानौ उस्लाई बहार छ ।
++++++
आकाश सफा  छ,
सफा छैन त, राज्य,
मैला चस्माको आखिझ्यालबाट,
करणग्कुरुङ बारखरी,
टल्किएका हातिको सुड्बाट,
सबै सस्तो, भर्पर्दो   र बलियो देख्छ ।
++++
आकाश स्वतन्त्र छ,
स्वतन्त्र छैन त, जनता,
पैसा छैन, उपाय खै भन्न हुन्न,
पैसा छ, टिकेट छैन, कसरी भन्नै हुन्न,
टिकेट छ, महँगो छ, जब्बर्जस्ती मुस्कुरौनु पर्छ ।
दुर्घटना हुन्छ, ब्रेकिङ न्युज बन्छ, उद्दार ?? .
पिरल्को भाउमा जिबन पोको पारेर दिन्छ,
++++
आकाश न्याय दिन्छ,
न्याय  दिन्न त, राज्य,
छानबिन समिती बन्छ, के भन्छ तेही दैब मात्र बुज्छ।
दुइदिन गोहिका आशु बगाउछ,
फेरी कुकुर्को पूचछर बन्छ ।
++++
आकाश मायालु छ,
मायालु छैन त राज्य,
प्रेस बिग्यप्ती नै काफी छ,
सुध्रन रत्ती, बली दीरहन्छ,
निमुखा, नीस्कपत् सन्तानहरुलाई ।


Heartfel condolence to pilots who lost during #Kasthamandam Air at #Kaliko after two days of #taraair crash in #Myagdi

मिर्त्यु #death

म,
मिर्त्यु डाकिरहन्छु,
मिर्त्यु,
मसित भागीरहन्छ ।
ऊ,
मिर्त्यु,
देखी भागीरहन्छ ।
मिर्त्यु,
उसैलाई पछाइरहन्छ ।
मिर्त्यु
र,
म,
बात् गर्छौ,
बार्ता गर्छौ,
तर,
निस्कर्शबिहिन छन,
सब प्रयासहरु ।
खोजी रहेछु,
एउटा मध्यस्थकर्ता,
अनी,
मध्यस्थ बिन्दु।
जहाँ,
ऊ बचिरहोस्,
अनी
म मरिरहु .
त्यसरी नै ।

Extended heartfelt condolence of all members who lost in plane crash today, Tara Airlines from Pokhara to Jomsom

#Kanti Children Hospital, Feb 2016

After 13 years later, I stepped in Kanti Children Hospital in 2016 for treatment of my Nephew. Many of my friends suggested me to go Kanti for rule out the unidentified fever if you have any connection over there. It was so ridiculous matter though I have contacted to few of my friends and reached there at 7 PM.

Dr Krishnahari Subedi helped to reaching out Dr Prajwal Paudel and Menuka Khanal helped me in first admission process. I didn't touch with all of them since long. My Nephew's sickness created avenue for meeting, reuniting and bonding each others.

Here, I don't like to discuss in details due to time factor. I just like to highlight the quality stuffs what I observed and experience during my stay.

1. Cleanliness: After 4 hours, I shifted in special Cabin where the floor wiped in each shift of duty or three times a day.Highly appreciated but not clean the sink, and toilet and no use antiseptic.

2. Facilities: I paid 1300/night that was too expensive in comparison with services. The cupboard was broken very badly and given very bad look. There was poor supply of water. Almost everyday, there was no water supply for few hours to whole day. The water was very poor in quality, plenty of live ants like round worm, seen in water and the water colour also muddy and yellowish in between. There was nothing except a simple bed, a low bed. Since it is children hospital but nothing for children to play.

3. Doctors: there is no interaction and briefing. We had briefing from Dr Prajwal who is third year student of MD. He usually came before round and discuss with us. I always thinking about the other ordinary people regarding interaction, briefing and so on. There was no evening round. In case of emergency, nurses called

4. Nurses: The number of nurses is more in morning duty and only one nurse for night and evening. No matter how much busy they were or how many number they have, no one come to the patient's side except medication and fever. The patient nurse ratio is unfair for night duty but the quality of nursing service was heavily compromised. None of the nurses asked or interact with the patient or party. I had maintained temperature myself and also done cold compress, medication as my discretion. I didn't see any changes in nurse's quality since 1990 (when I was admitted in Bharatpur hospital due to tetanus) to date no matter whether they have BN or BSCor senior nurse or any other position's or degrees. Many nurses are working in outside of the hospital as full time job holder so the hospital's services was compromised. Few of nurses identified about me and started to come to say hello though no change at all.

5. Cantten: is serving but has poor quality. No special food for sick children.

6. Services: Still there is no special services for children e.g. ENT, cardiac. We went to TUTH for ENT service and we had very hard time due to improper information from duty staff at Kanti and there is no any priority for admitted or referred cases from Kanti. Walking here and there with sick child was tough to everyone.

7. Investigations: Many investigations still not available at Kanti and those which are available are handling manually.

It was shame that the national children hospital operate in only morning shift, evening shift in emergency (very rare) and there was close the theatre during night. Almost all children coming from periphery of the Kathmandu valley and few of the from nearby districts as well as eastern and western part of the country. From their outside looking, they sounded low economic status and no or less educated.

The corruption, culture of impunity is rampant in national level, everyone aware but ignore as like open secrete. I was thinking and worried about the rural health, people and national development at large. Long way to go, who would be the champion ;( ;)

#Menstrual Taboo in Kavre, Feb 2016

A lady(Thuli) about 15 years was saying to her younger sister ( Sani), you were in haven. During my time, I went to the hut for hidding my first mense and followed so many restrictions in touching, eating,moving.

Now her parents migrated and living in small market called Sipaghat and also operate small tea shop. The living condition of her parents and in neighbourhood has already changed mostly. 

 Sani was watching TV at a spare room when I reached that House, Sipaghat at the middle of day.

Radha: why didn't you go to school? Had you holiday ? 

Sani: She nodded her head for NO. I had school, I have first mense so I couldn't go.

Radha: How many days you had.

Sani: today was fifth day.

Radha: Why didn't you go school then? 

Sani: My brother also is studying in same school, so I might she him.

She had taken bath everyday. She had period when the school was holiday due to death of Hon. Prime Minister Sushil Koirala. She continued, I noticed blood when I was in toilet and shared with my friends, I was with friends due to holiday. 

She heard about period from her mother and sister but not much aware it and bit shocking when she noticed blood, she added. Her sister brought sanitary towel and friends taught how to use it. She came this house when the sun set or dark evening. She didn't allow to enter main room, kitchen, fruits, vegetables. She slept in separate floor with low quality of clothes.

She felt ashamed when people come that house, everyone easily recognized that she has period and uncle (owner of house) come with many new friends and each of them know her story. She was waiting for the seventh day to go home and school.She missed school very badly and afraid whether she can continue her education or not. She never missed class like this.

This is bed where I slept for nights, feeling cold, dropped off water from roof at night. The next tiny bed in corner where Sani slept

Sani holding plate to have dinner because she neither enter kitchen nor touch others. So she is holding her plate in low level.

This is Sani's bed where she slept for7 nights. She hadn't had good clothes as I used. 

Pain in Silence: #Unmarried Woman in Nepal

Triggers for write up on unmarried women:

Jan 31, 2016, Emergency Ticket Counter, Kanti Children hospital, Kathmandu

A woman: Can I go first, my baby was serious.

Ans: My baby was also serious so I am coming to hospital.

Jan 31, 2016, Emergency, Kanti Children hospital, Kathmandu

Doctor: what is your husband’s name and how old he is?

Ans: humm……he is 35 years old and in Chiwan.

Jan 31,2016, Observation, Kanti Children Hospital, Kathmandu

Mother from next bed: Isn’t his dad come along with you? How can you manage alone?

Ans: No. I can.

February 1, 2016, Special Cabin No 146, Kanti Children Hopistal, Kathmandu

Nurse: Is this your first baby? 

Ans: Yes.

February 1, 2016, Nursing station for steam inhalation by oxygen mask

Nurse: who was that man?

Ans: His grand dad. I mean my dad. He is very close with his granddad since birth. 

Nurse: baby, please didn’t bother your mamu.

Ans: silence!

February 2, 2016

Nurse: where was your husband? Didn’t he search his dad now?

Ans: huum……. He is in Chitwan, he is busy guy,will come soon.

February 5, 2016

Doctor: Oh, today, he had new mom.

Ans: yes (with smile), I just arrived yesterday evening.

The above statements raised the following questions;

1.      Should woman have traditional dress as an evidence of mother with child

2.      Shouldn’t unmarried woman have baby?

3.      Shouldn’t single mother take care of baby?

4.      Should woman have biological baby?

These questions are not only important in medical field but also crucial in the field of women’s right and empowerment in Nepal. Nepal has already moving fast forward regarding to women’s right in constitution (2015) and have a signatory country in order to align with international treaties and all. However, the mind set of people yet to change and long way to go. Asking these questions or statements is not big issue but they are very critical and compel to think about its underlying causes and outcomes. In Nepal, as everywhere, women have had secondary position at large from family to policy level though currently she possess head of state, speaker of the house and so many other positions are ahead for women at first time in Nepal.

The marriage is very important institution in Nepal, has politico- socio-cultural significance. The marriage age in Nepal is changing in urban or among educated societies. When I was doing Staff Nurse course, few of my friends have already married and with babies and few were got marriage during courses. I constantly face the questions of marriage while working in communities and hospitals. Usually, Nepali married woman have a symbol of marriage such as putting red powder in forehead, bangles, or red thread or garland or beads in neck. However, it is changing among educated, employed and urban young woman. The way of talking or responding was totally different once they knew about their marital status. They hid the history of their life and family. Though, very hard to tell them lie due to having quite young and also mentally not prepared. In other hand, it was a short term engagement with the people and kept on changing between 2 weeks so it was adjustable as part of study.

When I was in community as a Bachelor of Nursing, I started to tell that I am married and my husband is studying in Kathmandu. Usually, I put the red tika in my forehead so they easily trust me. It was very important because I was conducting a survey for my thesis entitled ‘Menstrual practices among Newari Educated and Uneducated Woman in Gokarna’. It is very sensitive issue even today. The women and girls were openly discussed with me, even they showed their clothes which was used by them during period. My lying position was unethical somehow but it is important again for the sake of exploring the reality on respective subject. In case, I was honest with them regards to my marital status they might not open and honest with me. It was dilemma yesterday and today. I had confident to tell this because I have already worked in Bharatapur hospital for four years as Anaesthetic Assistant where I had dealt with mostly with women who needed C-Section or any intervention related with pregnancy. Further, I continuously engaged with people as I can while doing Bachelor in Health Education in Saptagandaki Multiple Campus, Chitwan. More importantly, I had enough confident to talk about the motherly feeling due to taking care of few weeks to one years old nieces/Nephew since 9 years old.

Even among the educated women’s circle, I observed and experienced so much discrimination and stigma if someone recognized as an unmarried. I was waiting Mathura in front of her door and following the conversation between Mathura and her husband. Her husband was shouting that she followed me and interested to continue her education along with me. I pretended that I didn’t hear their debate. I motivated Mathura and finally she continued her education along with me though it was so tough to her. I had supported her in many cases while conducting big assignments including group works and thesis. Obviously, in Nepal, the paternal family hardly found cooperative to enhance daughter in laws career. And few women were so tough that they crossed all sorts of boundaries and continue their family and career. For instance my second sister Bindu, she lived in extended family for a long period after marriage, she took care of many household things, she had two children without intensive support from her husband (he is working far from the home, only returned to home in during weekends at fortnightly basis) and she continued her education. Now she is teaching in Universities and schools.

While I was doing bachelor in nursing, many of my friends were married and we often discussed about it when my marks were more than. Securing marks is influenced by many factors but the way of interpretating is very intimidating, stigmatize and discrimination. Meanwhile, getting so much offer, pressure for marriage from friends. Here, I remember an incidence of Nirmal Bhusal who insisted me to come her house at Kalanki for a long time and one day I went. Her intention was different or she wanted me in her relative’s through marriage.

In Nepal, if women don’t get marriage after about 25 years there are so many schools of thought to anticipate behind the reasons; could have love with someone so she is waiting while her family and friends would have tired. It is considered that telling about boyfriend or marriage is not usually acceptable during these days and even today in rural settings. Few may assume that she had broken relationship so she didn’t like to get marriage with other one. Few may assume that she is more qualified and not getting appropriate one. At the meantime, unmarried women get so many blaming in her life due to not having marriage. If she works or travels with someone, the community watched her and started to tag her with this boy or girl or anyone and create so many negative stories. In addition to, she always in vulnerable from the married and unmarried men by passing comments, sexual abuse and exploitation, receive unwanted letters, gifts, encountered with various forms of sexual, physical, psychosocial torture.Often family members of married men passed so many comments, sending emails threatening by phone calls, sending message through others. Often they block in facebook  or unfriend too. Here I have shared a recent incidence without mentioning the name.

10/24, 5:51pm ........................(Name hide)

I need to talk to u

will i be able to get ur number ?

this is urgent

10/24, 7:05pm

Radha Paudel

Namaste chhori. What happened?  Where and how are you? Hope you have wonderful Dashain. My number is available in google if not here you go 9849596298.

October 25, 2015..........(Name hide)

I just wanted to clear out some rumours that are going around...I m coming to Nepal in December,I would like to meet u then

And so sorry,I tried looking up ur name for ur number but nothing came up

10/25, 4:39am

Radha Paudel

Good morning!  What rumors? Nepalese are smart enough for rumors. Would you share with me.i am curious.  Didn't you find www.actionworksnepal.com. you can meet me any time if I would in kathmandu. Action Works Nepal is evolved from volunteer efforts and trying to make something happen which is very challenging. It is very hard to work specially in Nepal.  We are getting wonderful  support ( donation,internship,facebook campgain etc) from family of board members and family. You are also heartly welcome.  I have already given my number to you.here 9849596298

10/25, 4:52am..........Name hide

Nepali are very smart for rumours as u mentioned but not all nepalese are that smart...sometimes those nepalese find a lot of evidence to start the rumour.... i m no problem with u so far but the rumours i hear when i go to nepal really hurt and has desrupted my family....i heard ur campaign works for women and children i hope u understand it very well

10/25, 5:52am

Radha Paudel

Can you write me in my email rpaudel456@gmail.com pls.i am in village using Mobile data.can you tell me what exactly you are telling

 I have so many evidences ( will share later).
I often charged due to tagging or referring the post in facebook. People considered them as educated, high profile, rich, elite but their mindset is very low in many ways. They neither think in other way around. Why did the blamed, accused, put low only for one side. What is the gurantee men or married men or married women are perfect as they thought for unmarried women. If someone really dedicated to work beyond the comfort zone, partnering with various gender, groups and communities is obvious but the people constantly pulling leg by accusing in negative manner which is so deep painful, depressive and sometimes compel to deviant from the destination.

When I started to work in Jumla, I found more problem in my marital status though my physical getup was look like married women. People often already explored and knew my status so hard to made them trust on my saying except few and in villages. In villages, usually people so innocent, they don’t trust the developmental stuffs but easily trusted about marital status and remain open to share their pain specially in marriage life. I got so much information or stories about the pain from the married life.  Since then I continuously stated to say that I was married and I have a girl child because Nepali society doesn’t care or count a girl child so I wanted to bring the message that I am ok with one girl child. Many women don’t imagine the life in the absence of husband so I kept on responding about status of husband on the basis of context. It means, sometimes I said he is teacher, sometime he is social worker, sometime NGO worker, sometime political leaders and sometimes student. They also kept on asking about his location, educational status, job, earning and so many things. It was not easy indeed. If I would say I am single, people constantly asked why, how, what is your parents stake ……. And If I say married the list of questions in not finished. I also tried to say that I don’t baby then people asked oh why it happened, did you consult with doctor, who has fault, is your husband ok with you ……so much stigma everywhere.  Based on marital status, the entire way of behaviour is different and most of the time a group formed and working hidden manner.

Remain unmarried is like fill in the gap. Everywhere should she reach without questions. Mostly, family and friends don’t consider the needs, interest and priorities. Unmarried woman often dragged in to the family conflict regards to responsibility and property. I have seen so many stories, I don’t like to share here. If everything going well, I would come up with different text.

Unmarried woman would get stigma and discrimination even in the international communities. I, myself, encountered with so many intellectual, activists at global meetings that they keep on referring the status of unmarried while talking in both formal and informal setting. I personally felt so embarrassed and tried to be as a lier. While I lie, I felt so guilt and humiliation within myself. First time, I told lie with Kamani but later I said what is my status. Likewise, I told same in few forums and still I have deep feeling of guilty. I have very good friend sister Ms. Janet Macdonald, in Canada trip 2015, we shared so many things but I told lie with her as well. In the beginning, I didn’t think that we would such closer but we had and hard to continue the conversation. One lie demands many lies. How can I make instant stories about my kid, husbands and associated matters? By personality, I am not lier person so I am alone in my journey of battle since childhood no matter where and how I worked. By this message, I sincerely begged for forgiveness whom I told lie no matter whether they from the international arena or rural parts of the country.

In Nepal, the word of single women is misinterpreted since the activism emerged. Due to no exposure, education, no property etc. very few women remain as unmarried. Usually, they remain as unmarried if they are the elder children and lose their parents while they were quite young in order to take care of their younger siblings. Otherwise, there is no say for deny the marriage. Now days, the number of unmarried women is increasing due to various reasons though they have constantly face various forms of stigma and discrimination and they are so much disorganized because the mobility of unmarried women is not accepted largely.

According to the UN definition, single women encompasses of widow, separated, divorced, unmarried, not divorced but living separately. But activism focused on women who have lose their husbands due to any reason. No one thinking or doing anything about the unmarried women. Unmarried women are more vulnerable by both sexes in many ways but ignored largely.

                

UK Trip Experience 2015

जब मैले बेलायत जाने कुरा साथीहरुलाई भने, धेरैको जबाफ आयो , अमेरिका गएको बेक्तिलाई बेलायत के राम्रो लाग्ला ? कता कता जर्मन जस्तो लागे पनि मैले बेलायत सचिक्कै रमाइलो, अमेरिका भन्दा धेरै मनेमा प्रिथक पाए। 

बेक्तिगत आर्थिक सहयोगमा गरिएका बिदेशी भ्रमण् भएकोले मलाई घुम्न किन हो उचित लाग्दैन र घुम्दिन पनि। तर लण्डन भ्रमण् त्यस्तो हुन सकेन। टुका छेत्री सन्ड्वेल्ल जसले मलाई लण्डन म टेकाएकी थीन उनले कस्तो रमाइलो पनि गर्न नजानेको भनेर केही ठाउँ भ्रमण् तालिकामा रहेछन जसमा पहिलो स्टोन हेनज थियो। ठुलो चौरमा ठुल ठुला झटट हेर्दा पर्खाल झै लाग्ने ढुङ्गा केटाकेटिले खेल्दा घर बनाउदै गरेको जस्तो देखिन्थ्यो। पैसा तिरेर तिनै ढुङ्गा हेर्ने काम भयो। मैले प्राय जाने ठाउको बारेमा केही न केही था पाएर जाने बानी थियो तर तेस्दिन तेसो भएन शायद म अली फुर्किएछु कि क्य हो टुकाको प्यारले ।

वास्तवमा यो विश्वा सम्पदामा परेको ठाउँ हो। फर्कदै गर्दा त्यहाँ भएका स साना बाटुला घरहरु तिर आँखा गए। ति घर बाहिर बाट हेर्दा नेपालको तराइका बस्तिहरुमा पाइने घर वा भकारी जस्ता लाग्थे। नजिकै गएपछी त्यहाँ ढोका पनि थियो। २०००- ३००० बि सि को ढुङे युग्बाट किर्सियुग मा रुपान्तरन् हुँदै गर्दाको सामाजिक अवस्था थियो त्यहाँ । सबै एतिहस बुझाउनको लागि कर्मचारीहरु पनि थिए उनिहरु मोन्टेसोरी क्लासमा शीछन  गरेझै बताइरहेका थिए। स्कुलमा सामाजिक शिक्षा पद्द मैले तेती पताएको थिएन अहिले भने नपताएर सुखै छैन। बाहिर बाट हेर्दा देखिएको घुमाउरो घर देखेर जती हाँस्दै थिए तेती भित्र पसेपछी दुखी। तराइमा भएका तेस्ता घर गर्मी भएर,सस्कार्गत  बनेका भन्ने लग्थ्यो तर हैन रहेछ हाम्रो सामाजिक रुपन्तरन्को अवस्था नै अझै ढुङे युग्मा रहेछ भन्ने बोध भयो। भित्र राखेका मातो खन्ने, खोर्सने ढुङ्गाका अौजार् त आजपनी मैले नेपालका बिशेष गरी पश्चिम पहाडहरु घुम्दा देखेको छु। उनिहरुले प्रयोग गर्ने भाडा बर्तन, लुगा फाटो, आगो बाल्ने, खेती गर्ने सबै बस्तु हेरिरहदा त्यहाँ बसेकी महिलाले फ्यटटै सोधिन कहाबाट आएको ? प्रश्न मलाई सोझिएको थियो। मैले कुरो बुझिसकेको थिए बिस्तारै भएछ - नेपाल। उ चिचाइ र भनी मैले नेपाल घुम्न जादा देखे अझै यस्तै समानको प्रयोग हुन्छ त्यहाँ । मलाई म आधुनिक युग्मा बाचेको छु भन्न लाज लाग्यो, अर्काको मानब बिकासको ईतिहास पडेर समय खेर फालेको जस्तो लाग्यो अनी भित्रै भित्र रिस उठयो मेरो देशको शैछिक् प्रणाली अनी समाज बिकासको क्रम।               

घुम्ने क्रममा नै स्कोत्ल्यान्डको सपिङ मलको चर्पी प्रयोग गरेर निस्कदै थिए अचानक मेरा आँखा भितोमा अडिरहेका  चार जोर खुतामा गएर रोकिए। नजिकै गये, फोटो १८४३ अर्थत ठीक १७३ बर्ष पहिलेको रहेछ त्यो शहरले कसरी छलङ मार्यो भनेर टासिएका , पोतिएका फोटो र तस्बिर रहेछन ति। मलाई प्रेममा पर्ने एकोजोर खुट्टा झन्डै एक फिट हिउमा नागै थियो तेस्तै १२-१४ बर्षको लाग्ने केटो. अर्को चाँही ३५ - ४० को पुरुष हाम्रो हिमालतिर लगाउने धोचा जस्तो लाग्ने बस्तु लगाएको । १७३ बर्षमा बेलायत कहाबाट कहाँ पुग्यो हामी जहाको तेही । कुनै एक पुस्ताले मरी मेटे देखी नहुने असम्भब भन्ने त के नै थियो र बेलायतमा हुँदा हामीकहा नहुने किन हुन्थ्यो र ? मान्छे हरु भन्न सक्छन बेलायतले त ७० वटा देशको स्रोत प्रयोग गरेको छ । तर म सहमत् छैन किन्भने कर्णालीमा के स्रोत छैन, के नेपाल जल्स्रोत्मा विश्वामा नै दोस्रो धनी देश हैन  यहाँ त संसारमा नै नभएका स्वार्थी, बेक्ती केन्द्रित बेक्तिहरुको घुइचो छ । प्रतिबदता भये नहुने के नै छ र ?

पशु पंक्षिहरुको स्वतन्त्रता 

सफा सफा गोर्कर्णको गोल्फ खेल्ने चौर जस्ता हरिया चौर, ति चौरमा सेता सेता, अनी सफा चम्किला भेडाहरु चरेको देखेर चराहरु किरा फटयङ्रा खोजिरहेको जस्तो लाग्ने । मैले बिशेषगरी गौरिगन्ज बरुवा (चितवन) र कर्णालीमा देखेका भेडाहरुको याद भयो । पिसाब र गोबर्ले मैले धैला अनी कुपोसित भएका भेडाहरु अनी खुर्पाले रेटेर रौ काट्दै गरेको द्रिस्य दिमागभरी घुम्यो । न बास्को ठेगान, न पेट्भरि खान पाउनु मनिषारु जस्ताइ दुखी र पीडित लागे नेपालका भेडा। लण्डनमा भेडा हेर्ने नेपालको जस्तो न गोथल छन, न कुकुर छन, न दिन्दिनै थत्थलो फेर्ने झर्को छ। ठुल चौरमा स्वतन्त्र भएर चरेका छन, निस्चित जग्ग कारीब १० बिगा लाग्ने जगामा जता गएनी हुने, ठाउँ ठाउमा पानी खाने बेबस्था छ,चर्न मन नलग्नेहरूका लागि घास्को रोलिङ ठाउँ ठाउमा छ। चराहरु पनि मनिष संगै फुर फुर गर्दै हिद्छन,कसैले न हा हा भन्छ न समातेर लाग्छन। कुकुर बिरलाहरु मानिसका केटाकेटी भन्दा ठुलो पहिचान् र अधिकार उपभोग गरेक हुन्छन। उनिहरुको छुटै कोठा, बाथरुम हुन्छन। घरमा मानिस् नभएका बेला घर भीत्र जन आउन भर्र्याङ् र प्वाल्को बेबस्था भएको हुन्छ । मैले बस, कार, रेल, जे चडे पनि आँखाभरी तिनै कुरामा केन्द्रित भये भने मन्भरी नेपालैइ नेपाल भयो।आखिर मानिस्ले चायो भने नहुने के छ र ? जङ बहादुरको पालादेखी नेपालीहरु लण्डन आउने थाले, पैसा कमये, पडे तर सामाजिक रुपान्तरन्को अर्जुन दृष्‍टि कसैले पनि कहिले पनि रखेनन तर भनिरहे नेपाल खतम छ, नेता खतम छन ।     

सार्वजनिक बस

म नेपालमा ९९ प्रतिशत नै सार्वजनिक यातायात प्रयोग गर्छु,मैले जती सास्ती भोग्ने र देख्ने महिला साहेद् कमै होलान। मैले सकेसम्मा बिदेश्मा सार्वजनिक बसको अनुभुब लिन्छु ताकि नेपालको प्रनाली सँग तुलना गर्न सकियोस। मैले जे लण्डन म देखे त्यो चाँही बडी बेबस्थित लाग्यो। केटाकेटी बेलादेखी नै सुनेको थिए जहाज र रेलले १मिनट पनि कुर्दैनन जुन मैले देखे पनि । तर लण्डनमा सर्बजनी बस पनि कुर्दैनन। लामो छोटो सबै खाले बसको जानकारी रेलको जस्तै सम्प्रेशन् गरेको हुन्छ। केटाकेटी, बुदबुदी, अपाङ्ग जो भएपनी समय सिमभित्र ढोकाभित्र छिरेको छैन भने ढोका आँफै बन्द हुन्छ, खलासी वा सहयोगी कोही हुन्नन । ड्राइभर पनि बोल्दाइ बोल्दाइनन अर्थात् बोल्नै पर्दैन। म जसता नौला यात्रीलाई सिकाउन बाहेक उनिहरु बोल्दैनन् । यात्रीहरु सबै मिलेर बस्छन कोही केही बोल्दैनन्, फोनमा सकेसम्मा सानो स्वर गरेर बोलेको बाहेक केही सुनिनँ । बसमा सि सि ति भि क्यामेरा जोडेको हुन्छ तेही बाट सबै अनुगमन हुन्छ । अपाङ्ग, गर्भबति, ब्रिदको लागि चित्र सहित् सिट छुटाइएको हुन्छ, त्यस्तो यात्री देखिनसाथ बसेको रहेछन भने तुरुन्तै छोड्छन र माफ माग्छन् । मैले आगनको छेउमा भाडा माझ्दै गरेकी महिलालाई कुरी कुरी लगेको, बस दोहोरो तेहोरो घुमाइ घुमाइ तीन घण्टा कुरेर, सकी नसकी, गुन्द्रुक खादे झै कोचेर लगेको, ड्राइभर, सहयोगी यात्री सबैले हेपेको दुर्बेबहर गरेको, अनी खलासिको पिटाइ खाएको आदी सबै खाले सिन्हरु फन् फ्यानएे घुमेर रिङटा छुट्यो ।मेरो देश्ले के गर्न सक्छ होला भनेर सोची रहे ।   

चर्पिले पनि मन छोयो

नेपालमा गाउ घरतिर हिडदा एस्तो देख्न पाईन्छ - यहाँलाई खुल्ला दिश मुक्त छेत्रमा स्वागत छ । यही संगै मिलाएर उखान, सायेरि, गीत पनि लेखेका हुन्छन । तर न चर्पी प्रयोग हुन्छ, न ढोका हुन्छ, न छनो हुन्छ, छिर्न पनि मुस्किल, अट्न पनि मुस्किल अनी साबुन् र पानीको को कुरै गर्न परेन। उतिका नाममा जुन कार्यक्रममा एस्को भाषान भुसन भाईरहेको हुन्छ तेही पनि खज खाने बेलामा न पनि हुन्छ न साबन। सि.डि ओ देखी डाक्टरसम्म सबैलाई चलेकै हुन्छ, पचेकै हुन्छ । तेसैले आजका दिन्मा पनि नेपालमा मिर्त्यू हुने ठुलो रोग झाडा पखला हो । मलाई चर्पिको राम्रो बेबस्था लाग्यो जहाँ गये पनि, साबुन् पानी, हात सुख्ख पर्ने मशिन, कगत, सनिटिजेर् सबैको बेबस्था। ठुला फरकिला अनी अपाङ्ग मैत्री पनि । चर्पिमा बसेर खान पनि सकिने ।  चर्पिको प्रकिर्तिले मात्र चर्पी भन्ने लाग्छ नत्र कुनै आभास् नै हुँदैन। कतै कतै पैसा तिर्नु पर्छ बिशेषत रेल स्टेसन्मा । 

सबैको स्वाभिमान उस्तै

मेरो कारीब तीन हप्ताको बसाइमा कसैले कतै कुन देश्बाट आएको, के काम गर्छौ केही सोधेनन । नेपालमा भएको भये कती उत्तर दिदै हिंड्नु पर्थ्यो बाटोभरी । सुरु हुन्थ्यो कुन थरी हौ, पोइली थए कि के ? अनुशासन भएको देश । चर्च, विश्वाबिधलय घुम्न जादा होस् वा क्यासल् वा गडि घुम्न जादा होस् ३०० बर्ष अघी अपराध गर्नेलाई टाउको गिडेर् सजाय दिने ठाउँ पनि देखियो । लाग्यो जब सम्म शिक्षाले सबै चेतना खुल्दैन तेतीबेलासम्म त लौरो लगाएर भये पनि अनुशासन त कायम् राख्नै पर्छ । एस्को मत्लब बिभेद हुँदै हुन्न चाँही हैन , लागेन । प्राय नेपालमा सानो भनिने, लाज मानिने काम हेर्दा एसियान र अफ्रिकन जस्ता लाग्ने मान्छेले गरेको देखे । फेरी ठुलो स्वर्ले बोल्यो, वा सरी सरी भनेर दोहोरएर सोध्यो वा केही चोरी वा अपराधको कुरो भयो भने पुर्बिय एुरोपिअन लाई दोश लगाउने रहेछन । 

  

आफ्नै ईतिहास प्रती अबिश्वास

खुब भाका मिलाएर गाइेयो अहिले पनि कन्ठ छ, गौरब पनि लाग्थ्यो कि  महिला केटाकेटी बुडाबुडी सबै पानी पनि नखाएर लडे र अङ्रेज्लाई हराए  रे नालापानी किल्लामा । लण्डन को यात्रा पछी सरासर झुट लाग्यो । अङ्रेज्ले संसार अर्थात् ७० देश खाएर सेश भाको । उस्को जमिन वा तापु एस्तो छ कि न सुनामी जान्छ , न पहिरो जान्छ न अरु नै। भु राजनीतिको दृष्‍टिकोन्ले अती नै सुरछित छ बेलायत। नेपालका अग्ला नाग्गा टाकुरा उस्को प्राथमिकता मा परेन। उस्ले चहेको भये नस्क्ने वा हर्नु पर्ने वा सम्झौता गर्नु पर्ने केही थिएन। नदुखेको टाउको दाम्लो लगाइ लगाइ दु:खये जस्तो . उस्ले कारीब ३०० बर्ष अगाडि नै प्रबिधिमा फड्को मरिसकेको थियो। उस्लाई चाहिएको एकोहोरे नेपाली हिजो पनि लाग्यो र आज पनि बिभिन्न बहनामा लगेकै छ। मलाई यहाँ नेर नेपाली इमान्दर भन्न चाँही मन लागेन किन्भने नेपाली इमन्दरी मात्र भैदियेको भये एसरी संसारबाट हेपिएर गरीब गरीबिको देश भएर बस्नु पर्ने थिएन।. z'?b]vL cfh;Dd hf] hf] k9]sf yLP hf] of] zQmLdf yLP . hf] h;n] zf;g rnfPsf yLP . tLgLx?df O{dfGbf/Ltf yLPg . ;j}nfO{ eGg cfpF5 ufnL ug{ cfpF5, k|ltj4tfdf x:tfIf/ ug{ cfpF5 dfq .