म आन्दोलनरत पक्ष हैन,

म आन्दोलनरत पक्ष हैन,
हैन म सरकार पनि ।
तर,
नेपाली हो,
जहाँ हिमाल,पहाड र तराइ  छ,
हिमालमा हिउ पर्छ, चिसोले झन्डै मरिन,
पहाडमा भुइचलो आयो, झूकिएर बाचे,
तराइमा आगो सल्केको छ, म जलिरहेछु ।
तिम्रो छाला गोरो, तिम्ले बनाको हैन,
तिमी काठमाडौंमा रोजेर जन्मेको हैन,
सन्जोग्ले जन्मिएका तिमी,म र हामी,
हेपिरहने, घोचिरहने हो कोतिमी ?
मलाई मेरो शिर चाहिन्छ, सोचिरहन हर्दम्,
मलाई मेरो पहाड चाहिन्छ, बचाइ राख्न शिर,
अनी
मेरो यो तराइ, आधार हो, शिर अनी धुक्धुकिको ।
लाग्दो हो कोही मुर्खलाई,
सक्छु एक्लै एक्लै जिउन,
शिर, शास साहारा बिना बन्छ कसरी त्यो .
घाऊ जहाँ लागे पनि उतिकै ढुखेको छ।
म राजनीति बुझ्दिन,
कसले किन गरे,कहिले के के गरे पनि ।
जानेको छु र बुझुछु,
दुबैले कसेको जिद्दी हो रे मेरै लागि ।
साचचै मेरै लागि हो भने,
बिन्ती
मलाई शान्ती देऊ,
मेरो मानब अधिकार देउ,
मलाई सिङो नेपाली भएर बाँच्न देउ
मलाई भोटे नभन,
नभन काठे, पाखे,मधिसे पनि
मलाई स्वाभिमानी नेपाली भएर बाँच्न देउ ।
मलाई मेरो तरै,पहाडअ, हिमाल सँगइ देउ,  


 

16 Days VAW Celebration 2015; Lost at their own cocoon

महिला हिन्सा बिरुदको १६ दिने अभियान मनाउनु एउटा नैतीक दायित्व हो जस्तो लाग्छ तसर्थ बिरामी शरीर लिएरै भये पनि केही समरोहमा पुगे सधैं झै एस्पली नि। यो दिबस मनाउने पनि तीज मनाये झै होड् हुन्छ । डोनोर हुनेहरू तामझामका साथ तारे होटेलहरुमा पुग्छन, नहुनेहरु अरु कसै सित मिलेर वा कसैकोमा गएर मिसिन्छन र १६ दिन सकाछन । महिला हिन्स आन्त्य वा न्युनिकरन गर्न १६ दिने दिबस् मात्रै हैन अरु थुप्रै दिबस छन जसले हिन्सा गर्न निसेध गर्दछ । एसरी लगातर १५ बर्ष दिबस मनाउदा मैले चाँही खसै फरक देखेको छैन अनी तारे होटेलमा खान गएजस्तो लागेर, पीडित महिलाहरुको आसुले पिर्छ कि जसतो लागेर यो मन एसै एसै पिरोलिन्छ, कतिपय बेला त निद्रा नै भागछ।  हुन त यो दिबस एसरी नै फरक फरक ढंगले मनाउने हो । सेल हामी सधैं खान्छउ तर तिहारमा सेल खानुको महत्व नै अर्कै हुन्छ, बत्ती हामी सधैं बल्छौ तर नयाँ बर्ष मा बल्नुको रङ नै बेग्लै। तेस्तै हो १६ दिने दिबस्को उदेस्य पनि । हामी सबै मिल्ने, सँग सँगइ सबैले मनाउने अर्थात प्रतिबद्द हुने, जिबन र जगत बदल्दै लग्ने ।  

मैले बिशेषगरी एस्पाली काठमाडौंमा १६ दिने मनाउदाका अनुभब प्रस्तुत गर्न चाहन्छु ।

कार्यक्रम केही ढिलो सुरु भयो। बक्ताहरुले बोल्न सुरु गरे, भाषान भयो, एउताले अर्काको नमै लिएर प्रशम्शा गरे, अर्कोले अर्कोको। सबैले हातेमलो गर्न आपिल गरे, चिचाये। १५ बर्ष देखी देखिरहेका बक्ताहरु, सुनिरहेका भाषान्हरु। कोही पीडित त्यहाँ थिएन, कसैले पनि पीडितको पक्षमा कुरा गरेन । देशको बिसम परिस्थितीले को को कती हिन्स्मा परे कसैले सम्झिदा पनि सम्झिएन ।

ठुलो महिला अधिकार सस्थामा काम गर्ने अर्को बक्ता बोल्नु भयो र भन्नु भयो, भन्न त मैले नि सभापति नै भने, सबिधान्को भाषा बोल्नै पर्‍यो तर हामीले शब्दमा सुधार गर्नु पर्छ, रास्ट्य धछ्या भन्नु पर्छ । हामीले सबै सधैं संबिधान का भाषा बोल्ने भये किन आन्दोलन चहियो, किन दिबस चाहियो ? नभएका वा थप् गर्नु पर्ने कुरा भन्दै भन्दै, सुनाउदै, गर्दा कालन्तर्मा निती निर्मातालाई र अभ्यासकर्तालाई मन पर्छ र संबिधान बन्छ वा कानुन बन्छ । गाउका सोझा साझा मानिसहरुलाई तालिम दिने, भोक्भोकै हिडाउने बेला गरिने भाषान र तारे होटेल मा गरिने काम आकाश जमिन को अन्तर ।  

अर्को तारे कार्यक्रममा जाने अबसर जुर्यो, गज्जब नै लाग्यो। कार्यक्रम सरकारले आयोजना गरेको भये पनि पैसा भने सयुक्त रास्त्य संघको थियो । नेपाल सरकारलाई प्रतिनिधित्व गर्ने ठुला ठुला बेक्तिहरु जसतै सचिब, सह - सचिब, सयुक्त रास्त्य सङका उच निकएका बिदेशी र नेपाली पदधिकारीहरु, बिशेषगरी मुल्धार मेडियामा काम गर्ने पत्रकार हरु,केही गैर सरकारी निकाएका बेक्तिहरु। कार्यक्रम रमाइलो नै थियो तर मेरो मन पटक्कै रमाएन । कार्यक्रम प्रस्तोता जो महिला मन्त्रालय नै प्रतिनिधित्व गर्थिन भनिरहेकी थियिन - सचिब श्रीमान …… कसैले पनि होइेन, हुन्न भनेन। प्रस्तोता कर्ता मध्ये एक भनिरहेकी थियिन- छिट्टै नै कानुन बन्दै छ कस्तो शब्द लैङिक मैत्री शब्द भनेर । सोचे ति शब्द पनि तिनै सोझै गाउले लाई होला किन भने उनिहरु के किन कसरी भनेर केही प्रश्न गर्दैनन, अर्थात जे भने पनि पतौनु पर्छ, गर्नु पर्छ चाहे जती सुकै मुल्य चुकाउन नै किन नपरोस । अर्का सचिब धनी सस्थका महिला सँग कुरा गर्दै थिए – भनिस्यो…, गरिस्यो…, दिस्यो… यस्तै यस्तै । आखिर हामीले गर्न खोजेको के हो ? कल्लाई हो ?  

मैले गफै गफमा भने - हैन हे आजको दिन्मा आएर महिला मन्त्रालयका कर्मचारीले के श्रीमान भनेको सचिब्लाई ? सह सचिब महिलको जबफ थियो सम्मान गरेको नि । शक्ती वा मस्कुलिनितीको प्रतिनिधित्व गर्छ भन्ने सिदान्त कता गयो होला? अहिले बिद्या भण्डारी रास्त्य प्रमुख हुँदा जुन खाल्को मनो बैज्ञानीक सस्कार् सुरु भएको छ, सबै छोरी र  छोरी पाउने बा आमाले मेरो छोरी रास्त्य प्रमुख बन्न सक्छे भनेर आत्मा विश्वाश बद्ने कुरालाई उहाहरु के भन्नु हुदो हो ?

 श्रीमान, आयिस्यो, भन्ने, धन्स्तकर गरेर नमस्ते गर्ने प्रथा जारी राख्ने हो भने ठिकै छ सबै ठाउमा तेस्तै शिक्षन गरु, सबैलाई तेस्तै बनाउ । जो सोझो छ, जसको गास बास्को ठेगाना छैन उनिहरुलाई सास्थी दिन बन्द गरौ । उनिहरु हामी भन्दा धेरै रुपन्तरित छन,तालिम बिना जिबन्बाट सिकेक छन, कानुन भन्दा पहिले नै गरेका छन । तेस्ता महिला पुरुषहरुलाई बधाई, शुभकामना अनी सलाम ।   

सन २०१२ मा तेही हल, तिनै आयोजक थिए। ग्रामीण महिलाहरुको रुपान्तरन् भन्ने बिषय थियो । म बिदेसमा बस्ने बिदेशी साथीको मार्फत त्यहाँ पुगेको थिए। कार्यक्रम कक्ष खचखच थियो सबै खाले प्रतिनिधि थिए ठुला ठुला पद समालेक थिए, अझै विश्वाबिद्यालयमा जेन्डर पदाउने प्रसिद प्राधापकहरु थिए । सचिब्ले बोले - महिला अधिकारले घर घरको शान्ती बिग्रेको छ । त्यहाँ बसेका जो कसैले पनि त्यो भनाइलाई प्रश्ण गरेन,कसैले पनि होयिन भनेन । चुप लाग्नु शान्ती हैन, नभुझेर, नसकेर, चुप रहेको हुन सक्छ अनुसन्धान, अनुभब्ले तेही भन्छ भनेर कुनै पनि विद्वान, अभियेन्ता, आयोजक कसैले पनि केही भनेन ।       

मर्सिडिज् चडेर् हिंड्ने बेक्तीहरुलाई सार्वजनिक यातायातमा कती सास्ति हुन्छ, कती हिन्सा हुन्छ भन्ने थाहा हुन गरै छ । कोठिबाट भागेर आएकी महिला होस् वा आफु बलत्किरित भएकी तर कसैलाई भन्न नसकेकी महिला वा भनेर पुलिस, अदालत सबै धाएर एक्लै परेकी महिल्को पिडा, हर पल मरेर इज्जत, भाग्य, छोराछोरी भन्दै बाच्ने महिला वा पीडितको चरायिरहेको घाउमा खै कल्ले मलम पट्टी गर्ला । 

यस्तै काम तर मोफसल्मा पुगे तेतिखेर म सिराहा पुगेको थिए काम थियो राजनैतीक नेताहरुलाई अभिमुखी कार्यक्रम । पहिलो दिन बा आए,दोस्रो दिन कोही आएन तेस्रो दिन छोरो आए , गर्ने बेलामा तिनै दिन्को हाजिर गरे र भत्ता दाबी गरे,मेरो केही लागेन। लागोस नि कसरी म न पैसा दिने वाला थिए न सरकारी निकाये नै। 

महिला अधिकार, शश्क्तिकरन, शान्ती आदी बिसएमा फरक फरक मत हुनु स्वाभाबिक हो तर जनताकोनुन ख्यएर काम गर्ने सरकारी कर्मचारी हुन वा सरकारलाई सगाउने सस्थहरुले गर्ने यस्तै बेबहार्ले के हिन्सा मुक्त समाज बन्ला त । शन्का नै लाग्छ ।  

१६ दिने दिबश लगायत अरु दिबशहरु वा महिल हिन्सा न्युनिकरन गर्न गरिने अधिकाश कार्यक्रमहरु डोनोरको प्रथ्मिकता, उनिहरुको भुजाइका गरिने हुँदा पनि महिला अधिकारको वा हिन्सको मुद्द छायामा परेको देखिन्छ। सबैले महसुस गरेको कुरा हो कि सबै खालका हिन्सा बिरुद एउटै छाता एन चाहिन्छ भन्ने सबैले भुजेको छ तर डोनोर को पैसा निस्चित काम वा सबाल्को लागि आएको हुनाले मै हुँ भन्ने अधिकार कर्मी, कानुन्बिद, सरकारी बेक्ती त्यो कुरा नभुझे झै गर्छ । 

दुबै शश्क्त, दुबै जाएज,

एउटा शरीर,
दुई मन,
दुई मस्तिस्क,
पर्स्पर बिरोदी,
दुई बिचार  ।

दुबै शश्क्त,
दुबै जाएज,
दुबै अर्जेन्ट,
दुबै सम्भब ।
तर,
बिरोधबास् उतिकै,
हलो अडकने सधैं,
निर्कोल हुन्छ,
तर
फर्किन्न कहिलेयै ।
अचम्म,
अध्यारो फर्किन्छ,
उज्यालो फर्किन्छ,
फर्किन्छ सबै,
तर
फर्किन्न कहिलेयै,
जो लडिरहन्छ,
दिन रात एक्छतै ।
तेही,
पर्स्पर बिरोधि,
शश्क्त बिचार को
पुछर समायेर्,
हिडिरहेछु, कहाँ पुगिन्छ खै ।

Scope of Men Engage in Nepal

Why do we engage men and boys in ending Violence against Women and Girls (VAW)? It is not a synonym of other VAW projects for the sake of securing funding or showcase of solidarity. It is all about changing the Mind-Set for transformation or long lasting change in the society and to cultivate a culture of gender equality which leads towards the path of peace and prosperity.

It is very easy to say and many individuals and organizations are nowadays coming forward to extend the solidarity in engaging men and boys in Nepal even though formally the campaign started already 2007. Here, I like to share a public statement I hear in public bus every day in Kathmandu, don’t you have your mother, sister at your home……..? Indeed, the fundamental gap is here. What did we do regarding to VAW in more than two decades activism in Nepal ?  Do we educate our children, our students, audiences etc. by saying, women have equal human rights as men virtue of human being ?  Aren’t the women’s right also human rights? 

The women’s right movement is clouding with negativism towards men as perpetrators, as power abusers etc. Indeed, men are not born violent. They are learning the violence culture from beliefs, attitudes and norms what it means to be a man throughout their socialization process. Here, I would say manization process. Meanwhile, many men are in leadership positions, working in humanitarian setting and mostly women and girls experienced various forms of violence at home, street, school, workplace and everywhere. Unfortunately, in many mundane cases, both men and women are not aware whether they are committing or experiencing violence In this connection, engaging men and boys is very crucial and urgent in many ways. Because not all men commit violence and not all men feel responsibility or holding accountable against violence or they remain silent in front of the violence.  Those who remain silent thought that speaking up against violence is not their business at all or they lose the prestige or manhood which allows to continue the violence in the society.

Indeed, underlying causes of violence is twofold; unequal power relations and harmful beliefs and practices where power has play in and out, up and down and everywhere and all the time. By and large, is Nepal’s movement on engaging men and boys just adding a project at the name of different institution ?  It should beyond of it. It should challenge oneself and others to hold accountability or should reflect the accountability at personal and relational level. The lack of conceptual clarity is key hindering factor among actors of MenEngage Alliance and others today. More importantly, are actors ready to learn and challenge their personal biases and beliefs? Likewise, are actors really Ally or review their dynamics of power and privilege while interacting with others. Shifting power is tough everywhere but possible yet the stereotyped project works never bring the lasting change in society.

The horizon of MenEngage is getting wider and urgently demanded by the current political change. Today, there are many questions floating over the sky of MenEngage Alliance for its significance.  The new constitution 2015 has scope of changing, formulating new policies, acts towards and around gender equality. Is MenEngage Alliance ready to take stake on it? For instance, does it show its commitment in revising the school curricula? Likewise, the culture of impunity is institutionalized well where culture of silence is flowing along with. Can alliance members put the VAW desk individually or along with National Women Commission or Women Police Cell. Today, many known cases are disguised or hiding because of not getting support from men position holders as well as the poor mechanism within the system. Can this alliance show its commitment as ally e.g. can go court by holding the file of poor, dalit, rural women’s case?  Or can it stand to make violence free public transport in Kathmandu? Who will create the gender justice environment in Kathmandu?  Aren’t all members of MenEngage working in VAW, peace building and women empowerment? what is the commitment of funding agencies in this regards?  

Since last six months, the country is on fire, unlawful killing, destruction are rampant and there are many women and girls, men and boys who suffered directly and indirectly. In such horrific scenario, what is the role of MenEngage? Don’t they speak against it or not their responsibility to reach out the bottom to start the spark of dialogue? 

To me, it is more important to count how many women and girls, men and boys protected from VAW, how many victims or survivors reported and rehabilitated than how many members are working in various networks, alliances or organization or funding agencies?  Each case is cent percent and should be valued.

The 16 days VAW 2015 has already started from November 25. There is competition to host huge program at stars but who care about the how many survivors from the last years rehabilitate or what is the trend of violence of the last year or what is the new role for future. Preaching the slogan by saying, survivors are leaders but who creates the space for them?  The dignity, confidentiality, respect of survivors for the jargons for the training, whereas survivors are subject to violence everyday, everywhere as like martyrs died once, they alive died several times.

How do men transform through voluntarily effort at Jumla. Once, should invest more times, money and have to have deep level of patience if you seek long lasting resulting marginalized areas.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mxf9aA97M8

आखिर मान्छे न हो,

आखिर मान्छे न हो,
बाँच्न नसके पछी सहारा लिने नै भो,
बचोस् कसरी _
दिन ? दिनै सकस छ,
रात ? रातै सकस ।
घाम उदाउछ तर अध्यारो निस्पट,
जुन त झाकल् झुकल्नै हो .
आशाहरु निमोठीएपछी,
निरशाहरु सँग प्रेम कती टिक्छ र  ?
एउटा तर्क, तर्क हुन सक्छ,
तर
जिउने आधार बन्न सक्दैन ।
मान्छे,
सँगर्श गर्न सक्छ,
बिना आधार सँगर्शमा परास्त हुन्छ,
बगिरहने लेउ होस् वा उडिरहने हावा,
अर्थात
झुन्दिरहेको यो धर्ती,
बस्तुगत वा बिषयगत,
आधारमै अडेको हुन्छ ।
जब्बर्जस्ती लेखेका कानुन्हरु,
जिउने आधार हुन सक्दैनन
बल हुनेले मान्नु नपर्ने,
नोर्दोस र निर्धाहरुको बली ।
जबर्जस्ती गाडीएक खम्बाहरू,
राजनीति गर्ने हुन,
जिबन दिने हुर्मत नै कहाँ राखछन् र ?
प्रेम नभ्एको,
विश्वाश न्भएको
जिबन लिएर गूड्न भन्दा,
हेपिएको हेर्न,
चेपिएको दुख्न भन्दा,
तेही खम्बाहरुमा तिनै दस्ताबेज
झोसेर तिम्रै सहारा लिनमन छ ।
किर्पया,
मलाई कातर् नभनिदेउ ।
 

Menstrual Restrictions: Nutritional Concern of Women and Girls

Flashback of Wartime in Nepal

I love Lamra village of Jumla in many ways. I have Miteri-mutual love and respect regardless caste, class, gender, region etc. family here since 2002 where as I had special attachment with this village since 2001. In 2001, I was walking through the Hanku village towards Khalanga, headquarter of the Jumla district, as done supervisory role of national polio program. I started from Katikswami, just across the Tila river. Today, Lamra is only 8 km far from the head quarter but those days the life was totally different so Maoist Insurgent dared to organize their program at Durga high school, Lamra. There was nothing such as phone, electricity, road or anything. I was walking on foot trail; I didn't hear or see anything regards to the noise or program or anything. Suddenly, two combatants with AK 47 approached to me and caught me right away and brought inside the school. I saw that the school was encircled by layers of the combatants. Inside, there were about 300 people gathered and the formal program was in progress. They brought to us (I have friend from hospital as accompany) just in front of the row of guests in row. Here, I didn't like to talk everything in details, I just like to say, I survived.  It was so awful moment because I was new in Jumla so far. Since that day, I have somehow attachment with this school and village.

September 2015

I was conducting a series of trainings for village leaders; men and women who are working as faith healers, Female Community Health Volunteers and so on. I strongly believed that the transformation should come from bottom so I have been engaging with village leaders since long.

The way I have been living in village, many people often don’t believe or imagine. They are merely illiterate though passionate and commitment towards change. They took risks and challenges at their personal lives, at community and society at large. Usually, I spent a week in a village so villagers would build trust and confidence on me, my work or campaign.  I was at Pancheswor Cooperative in mid-September 2015 as a follow up of my training program.

A Female Community Health Volunteer denied to eat breakfast in a group. I simply remained quiet and observed the comments of her friends. She was saying that she had tooth ache so she could not eat food along with us. I validate the information on why she hadn’t had the breakfast. It was because there might women participants who have period and the hotel who was preparing the food, might not practicing restrictions while they have period or many women who have period came and eat inside the hotel. The entire logic of not eating is contaminated by women who have period a form or the other who are considered as untouchable or pollutant.

I was really sad, because she has been working as health volunteer since last 17 years and she is not changed yet, how can we imagine from others. More importantly, Lamra is like urban city except two dalit (so called untouchable caste) communities. I questioned myself on impact against my tireless efforts. I really didn’t like to continue my training discussion but no way. I did.

When everyone was going towards hotel where our lunch supposed to prepare. The hotel owner also from Terai and had inter-caste marriage and has two young daughters.  I was following same health volunteers and also declared that I didn’t eat anything too.  Few participants were surprised me and requested to eat. But denied till the health volunteer came to ask me to eat. While she asked, I said why didn’t you eat? I did not like because I was failed, my followers are just talkers not doers. I was here for actions, I am doing all my voluntary work for the sake of women and girls in Jumla and you people were cheating me. I really don’t like to continue this training.

Finally, that lady came and asked me, I was just worried about my toothache. I explained why her teeth ache and why Jumla people lose their teeth when they are quite young. I explained that our oral cavity was dirty as our anal cavity even right after the tooth brush. Then, we have long discussion about caste and menstruation by giving various examples of hotels, pilots, nurses, doctors etc. About an hour discussion, she said, let’s go for eat. We joined the group and ate together.

Next day, I escaped the breakfast in group because it was so hot and spicy. I have allergy with both, I get sick right away including very bad diarrhoea.  But I was peeping to the kitchen where a young girl was baking bread (handmade) from millet flour. I approached towards her kitchen, asked few questions about her study and family and asked for bread to eat.  She allowed me. We built friendship and I invited her to join training if she would free.  The following day, she was in class for training. The breakfast was boiled egg which I couldn’t eat since I am vegetarian. So I went her kitchen again where her mother was preparing food. She gave me bread very easily, allowed me to sit in kitchen next to her and also gave me curry to eat along with bread. Unfortunately, the curry was from egg-plant which I am allergic with this since childhood. She was saying, it wasn’t but I recognized by smell and seeds, so I was eating bread alone. Eating bread alone is really tough job due to very rough surface.  It is very hard to swallow if we eat without anything. I was eating because it is hot so I was swallowing and trying to eat in small pieces. I was about to finish, her mother asked, did you eat yogurt? Yes, of course, I love the Jumla’s yogurt but I pretended and said, had you have? If yes, I would.

But she remained silence for a while, I stopped to eat the bread. After a while, she asked me, had you have period? I know about it though I was shocked because she sent her son to Kathmandu to study, she also travelled here and there, using radio, television, mobile and she saw everything what come to Jumla at the name of development or change.

I said boldly, yes I had, today was the second day. Indeed, I hadn’t had period. I had period when I was in Dillichaur, the eastern side of training.  She replied, humm,..so I couldn’t offer you at all? My cow would get sick. I even didn’t give my small daughter who had have period last week. I said, ask your daughter, she was in training, what we were doing and what it is all about restrictions. It is a form of violence of human right. I couldn’t leave this kitchen without having yogurt and bread.  I called her daughter and ask to explain about it. She explained well and I also added in very gentle and sometimes funny manner. Finally, I got yogurt but I promised and requested to call me if her family members or cows get sick. I promised to come anytime with medicine or doctors as per conditions.

She didn’t call me at all but I was thinking about her and her family. Psychologically, they might get sick, they might have dispute at home, might got daughter scolded by everyone etc. I regretted that I forget to note their contact number. About a week later, I invited to join the assembly of same cooperative at same place. I was so exhausted and no energy though I accepted because I wanted to meet this family.

I went there, I met entire family. I asked about anything wrong. There was nothing. Daughter was saying and teasing her mother, her cow and husband got sick.  

The deprivation of milk and milk products, meat and meat products, vegetables, fruits, rice etc. is really very bad for health. Women and girls need more nutritious food, love and affection during period. Women and girls have already suffered from chronic malnutrition since childhood. Could we meet all development goals 2030 if we don’t cross such deeply rooted taboos and rituals at the name of purity or religion or culture or custom? Shouldn’t we shift our attentions towards this issue?

Appeal to NRNA, Nov 12, 2015

Dear NRN community across globe,
Greetings !
Thank you very much for your tireless support to your home country. It is highly appreciated.
Here, I am appealing to all NRN members to think more critically and constructively while giving back to your home country.
I do agree and respect, it is very diverse group by caste, interest, ideology, gender, expertise, experience and all.
Charity is important but not way for transformation and sustainable development.
Nepal is still in crisis for strategic leaders for economical and political transformation. Emotionally, anyone can donate some money and can give very sugarcoated lectures but doesn't produce positive RESULTs for sustainable development.
I am sure, many of you down your face in front of others due to Nepal's poor identity in many ways. Here in Nepal, I noticed many of us are living in 3000 BC 's time as mentioned in Stonehenge, London. This is our reality. We have to accept and combat too.
In this connection, I do wounder why such organized,professional NRN institution is not learning from its long experience of giving back and global discourse.
Regards to current ‪#‎indiasblockade‬, I saw three things broadly;
1. Internationalize the humanitarian crisis in Nepal

2. Invest for economic independence: start small, medium and big plans/projects where Nepal can rise by our self

Furthermore, please focus energy to small and medium level enterprises through seed money, fellowship, training, researches, mentoring and big investment on tourism, power and transport.

3. Pressurize government and political leaders to remain accountable towards nation and people.

If I understood correctly, we are Nepali before having a representative of a political party, caste, region, religion and all. No matter how much you rich or expert, you are Nepali.

Sorry if I hurt to any of you and tagging you all.

In Love, Peace and solidarity,
Radha Paudel,rpaudel456@gmail.com

PS: I have spoken March 9, 2015 with NRN UK at London for same, Action Works Nepal shared same idea in Australia in 2012 for same.
Nrna Spokesperson, Nrn Ncc, NRN's President - Shesh Ghale, Lcc Nrw Nrn Germany, NRN Netherlands, NRNA Nigeria, NRN USA, NRNA CENTRAL,NRN UK 2013 - Yogen Chhetri, Nrn Austria, NRN Ireland, NRN एन आर एन,

एनआरएनएद्धारा मानविय सहयोग गर्ने घोषणा | THE NEPAL TODAY

एनआरएनएद्धारा मानविय सहयोग गर्ने घोषणा The Nepal Today prawas Edit काठमाडौं, कात्तिक २४ गैरआवासीय नेपाली संघ(एनआरएनए) ले भारतीय नाकाबन्दीका कारण नेपालका…

THENEPALTODAY.COM|BY THE NEPAL TODAY

Menstrual Seclusion: Women for 8 years, Men for 2 years

It was mid-October 2015, the weather is getting cooler especially in the morning in Jumla, a mountainous district in North-West of Nepal. It was about to 5 AM. I was following the noise though pretending that I had have deep sleep at my bed of home stay in Kartikswami village.

A five years girl, named Shishika (name changed) was calling from outside.

Shishika: Bajyeai, dhoka khola na ( Grandmom,  please open the door). Open the door.

Due to cold, she was trying to hide within the arms of grandma. I continuously was following their conversation.

Grand mom:       why did you scream? Where were your parents?

Shishika:              Mom had bahir sarin (menstruation); she went to chhuikotha (separate room in ground floor) along with brother. Dad went to the next house.

Shishika has three months brother. Her mom is government employee as a health worker in the village and her dad is working in renounced NGO which is working for women empowerment.

I got the sense of conversation. Her mom went to separate room which is always dirty, dark, limited raged clothes and in ground floor. They haven’t had the cows and of course cowshed. Most of the villagers have cattle and shed for them where women and girls are sleeping during their period called Chhaupadi in Nepal where women and girls segregated at least five days during period and 11 days during childbirth.  They are living in literally in cowshed along with cattle whatever they have. Usually, they use raged clothes above the pine leaves and sleep. Pine leaves piercing here and there, there are various forms of insects, fleas, bedbugs (I myself slept in a cowshed to test the hardship). There was bad smell of dungs, urine and decay of pine leaves or other types of hay which is stored for long winter. During winter, in many places, the temperature abruptly went down up to -30 degree Celsius. In this case, they use firewood for making warm. Many women and girls were died due to suffocation from the collection of Carbon monoxide at their unventilated room. Many were died because of cold. Many were died because of snake’s or wild animal bites. Many women and girls subjected to rape, sexual abuse, exploitation and stigma and discrimination is very common.

By keeping all facts in my mind, I became restlessness; it was cold though I went down to see that woman. She was lying down with three months boy, he is so sweet and smiley. I played with him for a while and asked to his mom (everyone called her Love).

Radha:                  What did you teach to villagers on Chaupadi, care of babies and mothers etc.

Love:                     I taught them that it is harmful practice and have to abolish.

Radha:                  Really ? I didn’t believe? [ bit anger tone]

Love:                     Yes, I do [laughter..].

Radha:                  If so why did you here with such small boy, dirty and cold room?

Love:                     My sister didn’t follow last month (she also health worker) and she got sick so I didn’t like to get sick as she.

I pretended that I was so furious with her. I simply said that you all are criminal. You were cheating innocent people. You hadn’t have right to tell if you wouldn’t follow. I also criticized their education; meanwhile, I cooled down and started to teach as I am doing in village to village and everywhere on menstrual restriction.

Radha:                  Do you aware of how many days do you stay in this room in a year?

Love:                     [silence ……………and smiled…….]

Radha:                  You sleep here for five days in a month, means 12 times in a year so total 60 days or 2 months in a year.

When did you menstruate at first?

Love:                     At 12 years old.

Radha:                  Do you ever think that how many years do you sleep in your reproductive life ?

Love:                     I never ever think in such deeper level, sorry…..!                             

Radha:                  Two months a year for 36 years (estimated menopause age 48 years), means 72 months in total means 6 years in reproductive age.

Love:                     Oh my god !, I never thought in such way.

Radha:                  Unfortunately, you have more days.

Love:                     How come? It’s not true? You were exaggerating at all? You wanted to make scared me.

Radha:                  No, not at all. This is true. Let me explain. Where did your daughter sleep when you have period after she born?

Love:                     Is that really questioned? She had to feed breast milk. So she slept with me as like my son now. [She tightly hold her son and seemed more emotional].

Radha:                  It’s ok, don’t worry at all. I just like to know the facts. If so, as likely your daughter, you slept with your mom since infancy. Haven’t you add more years then?

She had beaten her tongue and flushed her face and nodding her head for yes.

Radha:                  You had fed breast milk for 2- 3 years and had continued to sleep with mother as company till you get marriage or away from your home, right? In such condition, at least 12 years means total 24 months or 2 years. Thus, you should add 2 years in your earlier 6 years. Now, the total years of segregation is 8 years.

Have you ever think, how much loss in your health, economic life, political life and all because of all.

Love:                     Very honestly, I don’t know at all, Phupu..(Aunt). I am following all because of tradition and pleasing to my parents and personally, I also scared to abolish the restrictions. I have strong believe on god.

Radha:                  Since you are health worker from city, you should aware. There are many immediate affects from Chhaupadi as follows;

1.       Devastating situations: many women and girls are died, subjected to rape, sexual violence, harassment, stigma because of living in segregation. It is serious form of human right violence.

2.       Urinary and Reproductive Health Illness (URHI): though there are other contributing factors for URTI, the Chhaupadi is one of the key cause. Because they profoundly exposed with dirty clothes, dung, dusts and so on since childhood. Consequently, many women and girls are suffering from chronic URHI including infertility, uterus prolapse.

3.       Mental and psychological trauma: since childhood, they have deep trauma from it. Girls considered themselves as cattle. If we think bit optimistic way, they considered themselves as low status than their brothers and fathers. That kind of learning, humiliation is permanently constructed. Many girls like to commit suicide even after 4-5 years of period (AWON, 2013). They thought that they born as girl as a consequence of sin of earlier life. Meantime, boys also considered that super power or higher position than boys.

4.       Deprivation in political participation: because of period, many women absent from group meetings due to unable to putting thumb stamp in attendance register, many women don’t join the cultural gathering due to scared of touching. Many girls remain absent in school due to many reasons; sacred to touch books, men members and temple at school. They also sacred because of leaking of blood due to no toilet, water and sanitary towels.

 As a result of immediate affects, there are many long term negative impacts as follows;

1.       Peace building: women and girls are living in internal and external conflicts. They regret for being born as girl or female. In addition, women and girls are living in deprivation from basic needs such as warm, food, love, respect, dignity etc. In this connection, peace is fully torched at individual and family levels.

2.       Empowerment: women are deprived from various forms of opportunities since childhood which has huge cost in political participation, economic empowerment and overall empowerment.

3.       Development: once there is no participation of caliber or empowered women, there is no sustained peace. Once there is no peace and women, how can we imagine for sustainable development.

I would say, unfortunately, boys also slept in cowshed though biologically they never ever have period.

She just nodding her head and continuously looking down.

Radha:                  see, your son never has period but since 3 months he is sleeping in separate room.  Later, sons are sleeping with their mom unless until they felt secure with their mom. As your nephew, usually they sleep up to 10-11 years or before teenage. It means they also segregated about 2 years in their life due to period.

The half of the sky has been experience of period as piece and parcel of nature and divine for social legacy. No one can deny this natural character or no one can steal from women. Unfortunately, it was misinterpreted by our ancestors and it is continuously practiced across the globe where Nepalese are living. 

The bottom-line principle of Chhaupadi is restriction. There are three forms of restrictions in practice; entering, touching and eating. The women and girls don’t allow to enter in to the house because of blood (a form of impurity) so they segregated in various forms of cowshed since history where no knowledge, skills, technology and all. It is easily can imagined that the blood could give smell and attracts flies and blood became contaminated. The menstrual blood pure as other blood (in normal situation) but get contaminated right after expulsion from vagina. Unfortunately, ancestors unaware about all and might be said that the god would angry if women wouldn’t leave the house.

Now, the time change and change many things in our surroundings. It has being taught in high school but the practice is still following everywhere such as USA, UK. The health teacher, personnel, social activists, scholars are practicing at the name of culture, religion, pleasing their parents or faith healers or in- laws but it is very impulsive practice indeed.

At that house, the grandma and granddad are the health worker and teacher respectively. I don’t see the accountability at all. I often used this family for my home stay as principle and practice of Miteri –mutual love and respect, while travelling to Jumla headquarter. I didn’t tell them that I have period though the toilet is not appropriate to maintain my cleanliness, privacy and confidentiality. There is no bathroom and no place of waste disposal. However, I managed to hide.

I don’t have regret and won’t be regret throughout my life that my friend and I were eating at their third story kitchen with our period but a three-month boy was following Chhaupadi for the sake of god. Personally, I believe in nature, to me nature is god. God made women in a way who can continue the society, so there is no point to stay in segregation at all.

किताबका मिठा कुरा,

किताबका मिठा कुरा, तिमी अड्की अडकी भन्छौ,
मानिस् हरु तिमीलाई विद्वान भन्छन, गला जोड्छन ।
म खरर बोल्छु, हतार हुन्छ, शब्दहरु खान्छु,
जिबन बोल्छु, अनुभुती बोल्छु, सत्य बोल्छु सबैलाई तितो लाग्छ ।
तिम्रो तलब मेरा निम्ती, तिम्रो सुख सुबिध मेरा कारण,
तिमीले लेखे पनि, खाए पनि, बोइङ उडे पनि मेरा लागि ।
म केबल देखाउनका लागि, म केबल तिमीलाई जिताउनका लागि ।
म नाँगै छु, तिम्रो फ्रेम भित्र पर्दैन, तिम्रो हाकिम् भुज्दैन,
म अदालत र वकिल धाउछु, तिम्रा कानुनलाई प्रमाण छैन ।
म मान्छु, तिमी बेस्त छौ, जिम जान भ्याएकै  छैनऊ ।
कनिकुथी अर्काले हानिदिएको फोन गर्छु, तिमी उठाउनौ ।
फेस्बुकमा सबैले भेट्छन रे, मै सित हराउछौ सधैं ।
मेरा अधिकार मलाई था छैन तर तिमी बोलेर थाक्दैनौ रे ।
जे गर गर , मलाई नछोइ गरे के हुँदैन त्यो ?

Appeal for Dialogue, Peace and welcome to constituion

       

 

तराइमा बलेको आगो र बर्बर बन्दै गएको सस्कारले एती बेचैनी बनाएको छ कि त्यो शब्दमा उद्द्रित गर्न सक्दिन। बिर्सिन खोजेर गाउ गाउ त डुले तर मैले शान्ति पाईन ।

समाज गतिशिल छ, जतिसुकै गरीब र सानो भएनी कुनै पनि देस एक्लो र सानो छैन तेसैगरी कुनै देस ठुलो र धनी छैन, हामीले कसरी हेरेउ हाम्रो भित्रको म र त को बिस्लेशन्ले मुख्य भूमिका खेल्दछ ।

लोक्तान्त्रिक समाज एसरी नै चल्छ जहाँ कसैका सबै सरोकार पुरा होवोइनन।

लोग्ने र श्वासनी, अर्थात एउटै बा आमाले जन्माएका छोराछोरि अर्थात जुम्ल्यहा बच्चामा त सबै एकै हुन सक्दैन ।

हामी बर्तमानमा बाच्नु पर्छ, देस केन्द्रबिन्दुमा राखेर हाम्रा माग राख्नु पर्छ । आमा नै मरिन भने आमालाई खाइ नखाइ बनाइदिएको हिराको गहना को के मतलब छ र, जसरी नि पहिले त आमालाई बचाउनु पर्नेमा दुई मत नहुनु पर्छ ।

आमालाई आइ सि यू मा राखेर कुनै पनि सन्तानले मलाई कल्ले के भन्यो, के गर्‍यो भनेर भन्नेहरुसँग झगडा गर्दै हिड्यो, आमाको मतलब गरिएन भने आइ सि यू मा आमा कतिदिन बाँच्न सक्लिन र ?

आमासँग रिसाएर आमाको कुरा अरुहरु सँग काट्दै, उनिहरुले छनिक रुपमा दिएको सहयोग समर्थन्ले के आमालाई आइ सि यू बाट सन्चो बनाएर बाहिर निकाल्न सकिएला ? के आमाको  गुन, रिन तिरिएला र ? सकिदैन। कदापी सम्भब् पनि छैन।

भन्नेहरुले जे पनि भन्छन, सुन्नेहरुले जे पनि सुन्न सक्छन, सबै देखेका, सुनेका कुरा सत्य हुन्नन, सबै भोगेका कुरा सबैलाई योग्य नलाग्न सक्छन।

अरुको पछी नलागी  आफ्नै हैसियतामा मरिमेटे अबस्य सम्भब् छ एकदिन ।

मैले महिलाको अधिकारमा जान्ने बुज्ने बेलादेखी नै लागे जतिखेर म आफ्नो घर, आमा बा मात्र जान्दथे र अहैले सम्म पनि मेरा माग पुरा भएका छैनन तर म आतिएको छैन, रिसाएर केही सार्वजनिक अहित गर्दै हिंडेको छैन।

हिरासतमा बस्ने देखी प्राय सबै खालको बिरोधको अनुभब  छ, पहुच नभएका कारण बाहिर आएनन वा सुनुवाई भएनन ।

तर बिग्रेको के छ र आधार बनेको छ, म एही देशको नागरिक हो, शान्ति पूर्वक मेरा अधिकार माग्न लोकतन्त्रले  अधिकार दिएकै छ्।

मन मिल्ने साथीहरु सँग बहस चल्दैछ, फेरी बार्तामा बसेर आफ्ना  अधिकार स्थापित गर्न सकिन्छ भन्नेमा बिस्वस्त छु र झन्डै ८ बर्षपछी  संबिधान आएकोमा खुशी पनि छु।

दिदी बहिनी, दाजु भाई, बाउ आमा घरभित्रैका परिवारसँग विश्वाश नगरेर कतिन्जेल स्वाभिमान टिकाउन सकिन्छ र .

भन्ने कुरा धेरै छन, अहिले एती नै, मेरो विचारमा सहमत् हुन पर्छ भन्ने छैन तर यो सत्य हो बार्ता बाहेक अर्को बिक्ल्प छैन .

चिनी, ग्यास त हिजो नभएर नि भाथ्यो, दुई चार दिन नभएर नि चल्छ , घर भित्र र बाहिर बैकल्पिकबाटा खोज्न सकिन्छ

तर गुमाएको मान्छे, सम्पत्ति, सस्कार फिर्ता हुन सक्दैनन .

मैले के गरे हुन्छ म गर्न तयार छु , म नेपाली हो , मलाई पहिले नेपाल चाहिन्छ चाहे नखाएर, बलात्‍कृत भएर वा कुनै बिसम परिस्थितीमा बाँच्न नै किन नपरोस .

I love my Country, My Love, My Pride,     

Protest: Gender Responsive Constitution

Police Interfere while women activist were trying to enter in to the restricted area at Baneshor, August 18, 2015.The mass rally was started from Babarmahal and concluded at the new Baneswor with corner assembly.

August 18, 2015 during the corner assembly, Dipti Gurung a victim, Her daughter Nikita and Radha Paudel were trying to cross the restricted areas and has dispute with security

August 18, 2015 Police not allow to enter in to restricted area 

August 18, 2015 Dipti,Nikita, Meera Dhungana and Radha Paudel were negotiating with police 

Response to Dr Arjun Narsingh KC

केसी नेपाली कांग्रेसका केन्द्रीय सदस्य तथा सभासद हुन् भन्दैमा उहाको कुरा के मैले पताउनु पर्छ वा सहमत् हुनु पर्छ र ? अह म सहमत् भईन । हुन त उहाका समर्थकलाई चित्त दु:खदो हो ।

जागरन्को जुक्ती चहिएको छ भनेको के हो ? कस्तो जुक्ती हो, एक एक गरेर भनी दिएको भये हुन्थ्यो नि ? आज कर्णालीमा के स्वास्थ्य, शिक्षा, नभएकै हो त ? अहिले गाउ गाउमा स्कुल छन, हेल्पोस्ट छन, गबिस भाबना र सचिब छन कागजभरी, कागजभरी । सरकारी र गैर सरकारी निकएका सबै कार्यक्रम भएकै भयै छन, सदर्मुकाममा बिकासेहरुका कुहिना ठोकिन्छन, होटेल तानातन हुन्छन । गैर सरकारीमा काम गर्ने सबैको घर काठमाडौंमा छोरा छोरी बिदेश्मा कर्णालीका गरीब मान्छे जहाका तेही मात्र हैन धनी भएका धनी भएकै भ्एछन गरीबहरु ढुङे युगमा नै छन ।

पातिको सदस्य भएसी जागिर घरमा बसेर खान पाईन्छ . आफ्नो मान्छे भएसी जागिर पाईन्छ, कर्णाली गएसी प्रोमोसन नि हुनी, पैसो नि पाउनी, बिकास कसलाई , किन गर्नु पर्‍यो। बiहिर भित्र सबैलाई मिलेकै छ नि तारतम्य । 

कर्णालीलाई चहिएको उद्दोग हो, आज जुम्लाका स्याउ गाई भैंसीले खान्छन डोल्पा र हुम्ला जसलाई मोटर बाटोले छोएको त छैन तिन्का के कुरा गर्ने। कर्णालीलाई चहिएको रोज्गार हो जहाँ पुर्बी नेपालका दाजु भाई, दिदी बहिनी जान सक्ने प्रनाली चाहियेको छ नकी कर्णाली रोजगरी जस्तो फोहोरी राजनीति गर्ने, झन गरीब बनाउने परियोजान । कर्नलिमा भएका अधिकास बिकास जस्को नममा भएनी पर्निर्भरमुखी (dependency) छ, सबैलाई थाहा छ फेरी नथहापाये झै गर्छन्। 

कर्णालीमा प्रबिधी चाहियेको छ, कर्णालीमा पर्यतन बिकास चाहियेको छ। जुम्ला नै जान मात्र एउटा बिदेशिले ७०० डलर तिर्नु पर्छ अरु जिल्लाको के कुरा?

म राजनीतिको भित्री फोहोरी खेल जान्दिन र जान्न कोशीस नि गर्दिन किन कि म आफुलाई दाट्न सक्दिन।
कर्णाली लाई छुटै पर्देश भन्दा नि बिशेष अधिकार दिनु पर्दछ जहाँ कर्णाली ले अबको २० बर्षमा फद्को मIर्न सकोस । दुई दिन घुम्न जाने, भत्ता खाएर जाने, लाई त कर्णाली स्वर्ग नै होला सधैं बस्नु पर्ने को लागि कर्णाली नर्क भन्दा बडी हो । जल्बायु परिवर्तनले हिउ सजिलै पग्लदो रहेछ तर कर्णालीको बिबशता, मानब निर्मित गरीबी पग्लन ललिपप भाषानले सक्दैन, ठुला ठुला सोध पत्रले सक्दैनन, मान्छे मारेर त नसकिने प्रमाणित भैसक्यो। सकिने भएछ भने बिशेष अधिकारको नैतीक बलले sakla. (sorry for typo mistake).
http://wwwwillandway.blogspot.com/2015/01/blog-post_29.html

http://kantipur.ekantipur.com/news/2015-08-19/20150819072617.html

A Real Man and Entrepreneur: A Street Shoemaker

Binod Mahara, Shoemaker in street, I spent about 2 hours with him, August 3, 2015

Binod was busy in sewing shoes

 About 3 pm of August 3, 2015, strong sunshine was experienced. A man with black beard and moustache, uncombed hair, brown paint, seems scales of white and brown color t-shirt with sleeper was coming over through bridge of Manoharariver at the boarder to Kathmandu and Bhaktapur. He looked like homeless and crazy people seen in the street of Kathmandu. But I easily identified that the guy was belong with this street shoes repair center. Because the raged roofed center with few repair materials and a wooden box was with attained. 

Due to surgery and bike accident, my left leg is not strong, I am claiming up 5000 meter high but I would have hard time if I have to wait more than 2-3 minutes. I didn’t see any place such as restaurant; passenger’s waiting benches etc. nearby where as I have to wait minimum an hour for Hum so I decided to sit at this center.

With murmur sound, I am sitting (lau ma ta base hai), I sat on his wooden box, I was wearing black eye glass  with white and yellow color handles and covering my face with black cloth face mask.  I was carrying my bag pack in my raged computer bag too and wearing a blue long sleeve T-shirt and black jean paint and white Nike shoes.  He didn’t even look at me, remained quiet and kept on sewing shoes. He might think that I was also a customer of him. He was continuously serving his customers.

Lady: Brother was you free?

Shoemaker: I was here for that.

Lady: she was showing her shoes and asked, how much money did you charge?

Shoemaker: only 0.9 $, if you like to do through and through, it charged 1.2 $.

The lady was coming with young guy. That guy said, we can buy new shoes if we add 2 $. They returned back without repairing. He neither express unhappiness nor shown by his facial expression. He was continuously sewing shoes for another customer.

He was repairing an umbrella of a young lady. Suddenly, he spoke; how did you break this?

Lady: I was using it while riding bike

Shoemaker: very good (gentle manner), your umbrella still with you. Is the umbrella for bike?

Lady: remained silent.

Another lady came and asked in very polite tone, brother, my shoes were broken again; I repaired it just 3 days before.

Shoemaker: He just picked up the shoes and repaired.

Lady: how much money should I give?

Shoemaker: 0.2 $

He was quite busy; I was reading his mind, face and his business. So many questions were swimming in my mind but I was struggling to start. I was trying to understand his language. He was speaking very fluent Nepali. I have deep respect since I read the story of shoemaker, Simon in my Nursing course.

A very dusty, smoky Jadibuti chock was moving as usual. I was waiting and waiting Hum’s call from Ratnapark. Seemed Hum was being late. Meantime, I was aware that the road was crazy traffic due to protest by supporters of Hindu religion. The due date for constitution is close thus many groups and communities are claiming their rights by organizing various forms of protest. I, myself was in strategic meeting just before 1 hour for same for gender responsive constitution in upcoming constitution.  

I dared to tell, please use the facemask. People would have lung cancer, asthma that exposed in such environment for long. He innocently takes out his mask from pocket and put on his face but he was chewing tobacco and has to spit off.  Then I asked about his place of origin. He replied, Sarlahi. I pretended that I was from same district originally but living in Kathmandu since long. I continued my saying; I was from Harion from Sarlahi. I saw cherishes in his face and spoke, I was from Kabigachhi, ward no 2.  It was easy to continue our conversation.

I: my name is Radha Paudel, what is your name?

Shoemaker: Binod.

I: what next after Binod ? I really don’t like to ask but I have to identify about him.

Binod: Maha……ra (sounds whispering).

I: Mahatara?

Binod: no, Mahara.

I continued the conversation, I was facing him by sitting in his wooden box and he was facing to me when he stood up his head.

I: how long were you here?

Binod: more than 14 years, pointing towards the cinema hall in opposite site, it was made in front of me.

I: how did you learn? Did your dad or grand dad do same?

Binod: No, he was nodding his head. My grand dad was beaten me while I was quite young, due to denying plough in field. That day, I left home. I only heard about Kathmandu where my cousin was working. I met him in Koteshor and worked with him for 2 years then I am working here since last 14 years, he was fluent now like we were familiar since long.

I: How much money do you earn? (I scared to ask but I did).

Binod: he proudly shared, I counted the money at monthly basis, in average 300-430 $ /month (he was counting the money and said, see no earning only 9.5 $ for today, most of the times cross 10 $and reached like 15$.

Suddenly he changed his mood and said, I still failed to make a house in Kathmandu. I read his mind on how much pressure get men from society for economic responsibilities. He smiled gently and shared, but I able to made a house in Sarlahi at least.

I: it was great, you have good earning. Do you have planned to go to aboard for buying house in Kathmandu? Many people from Sarlahi are migrating nowadays.

Binod: He furiously said, why should I go? I have good earning. I am serving my country and people though many people discriminate me. Nepali folks didn’t like to work here and ready to work anything in aboard. They use tie and shoot from that kind of earning and went to the restaurant. I really feel sorry to them.

A young boy was came to me by running and picked up his superglue that he had urgent. Binod just shouted No..No..I don’t care of your urgency and he snatched his superglue. That boy returned with scolding but Binod was calm and busy again as usual.

After a while, a lady came and said,

Lady: brother my shoes gone.

Binod: Thank you, he smiled.

He sewed very quickly.

I was impressed with dignity, gentleness and meantime curious about his habit as I know many men are lazy and have extra marital relationships.

I: were you living with your family, here?

Binod: He quickly appeared sad, my wife doesn’t ready to come here, she feels shame in front of the people.

I: does she came before?

Binod: No, but felt shame and humiliation because she is illiterate and from terai community. She said, she should have her house to stay here.

I: how much you studied?

Binod: no.

I: really, you must study primary school.

Binod: Really. In my village no school for people like me, he spit out left side.

I understood well that he represent low status in many ways.

He was working as usual, customers were coming and going. He was maintaining his account too.

I: where did you eat your meal?

Binod: he raised his head suddenly and looked at me, left the sewing work and raised his both hands and shouted, what is the use of these hands? Do I have my wife when I was born? Is there any guarantee of having wife till my death? I cook myself. I cook food early in the morning for lunch and I cook dinner after closing this work. Usually, I open my shop at 6 am in the morning and close at 7 pm in evening. 

I don’t have any questions and doubt on his saying. I just kept on listening and smiling.

But he needs to tell to justify himself as REAL Men.

I: How do you spend such big amount of money?

Binod:  I send the money to my wife and kids in between 10-15 days through bank. My daughter is still young but son is studying. I wanted to educate them well as here. I have to pay 25 $ /month for room rental and keep some money for my food.

He didn’t tell about his habit. But he was chewing his tobacco and was spitting out in between  1-2 sentence, sometimes left and sometimes right.

I asked, do you drink alcohol?

Binod: yes, I did but very rare. Sometimes, I went to party along with my friends. In Nepali context, starting drinking is not really good habit, usually people likely be addicted gradually.  He added, now this is the month of Srawan so I don’t eat anything like meat, fish, and drink. His face was down while trying to justify this. 

Immediately, I asked; so you were Hindu right? Don’t you go to the rally today, it was all by Hindu.

Binod:  Again, he angered and said; why should I go for rally. I have friends from all religion; we are eating together and helping each other, no need to fight each other. Everyone has right to choose religion thus I don’t join the rally, I am Hindu but I don’t say Hindu country.  I quickly asked, do you aware about constitution. He replied, yes, I know but leaders won’t bring, always fighting for them not for us.

I simply amused by hearing him. I smiled with him but he was working as usual.

I like to take his photo and thought to write about him but I don’t have camera and my mobile was broken. Though I did try, can I take your photo though I have not good camera. He said, no and simultaneously asked, why? I simply said, I wanted to share your stories to all young people and others. He smiled my story? Who cares? I insisted him. But he is not ready. Then I asked, can I take photo with you? I got nervous and say no again. I continued to push him; can I take a photo of your materials please? I might tire. He said, took a photo of mine only. I quickly caught it by my broken mobile.

He didn’t ask anything about me but I felt bad that I have asking so many questions and he just responded all.  I just shared him, I am educated women, went to colleagues. Now, I am going to Banepa to see earthquake people for some volunteer work and waiting my friend, he was in heavy traffic.

Again, I asked, where you were during the earthquake.

Binod: I was here, working as same now. The guy ran away but I didn’t. Everyone coming on the street and I am already in street. I was following all activities such as buses, bikes, people, houses and all, everything shaking well and scary. The people like us, no problem during any type of crisis, he said with boldly.

He continued and asked, how many kids you have?  I was shocked. It is always easy to provide suggestions and asking but hard to keep on their foot. I was nervous but pretend that I was ok. I said, I have only one daughter, she just passed +2 and looking for bachelor degree and living with her dad as usual. I tried to give all expected queries in single answer. He added, it’s good to have one child, the education is so expensive, I am in village, everyone need asked for more so I have two and I stopped already.

Hum texted me that he was in Koteshor. I shared with him, my friend is very close at Koteswor, and I have to leave soon. I will come to say hello later when I will walk through this road. He just nodded his head and working as usual but customers looked at him, they seemed newly married couple.  I am sure that they will talk about me later because the way they watched is very difference or curious.

Due to heavy traffic, Hum was delayed and I dared to ask one brave questions. Literally, I was scared though I asked; how often you bit your wife.

Binod: he innocently replied, I saw how the manhood is in crisis. I slapped only one time in my married life. He tried to justify, I felt guilt even now but she slapped to quite young son so I failed to control. I really impressed with him and also felt respect, because he was telling everything from his heart. He can lie with me.

When I saw the bus for Banepa and Hum was hanging at door, I said Namaste and good bye to Binod and went to Kavre.

+++

I was walking next day at the muddy, rainy road of Gairibisauna in Kavre, I felt something hanging in my heel side of shoes. I turned back and saw that the outer sole was peeling out. I afraid with my leg, how can walk without my shoes. My leg is getting weaker and weaker, have constant pain in knee and thigh where I had injury from bike accident. Meanwhile, I missed Binod.

I carefully tried to walk whole two days. The road is steep, slippery, rainy, red muddy and all bad things. I consciously stepped out and praying to be ok till Kathmandu. These shoes were original Nike Company from USA but second hand from Shanta. I used these shoes for two years from Jumla and one month immediate relief work and all places where I travelled. 

In August 5, I got off at same Jadibuti from Phedi, Kavre with very dirty, dusty, hungry and tired get up. I crossed the zebra cross quickly. I saw same raged roof shoes repair center while I crossed the road.  I directly went to Binod’s shop and greetings by saying Namaste. He smiled and continued his work as usual. He was in same get up, same work and same silence. I sat in his same wooden box and take out my shoes. He took out mud from shoes by his bare fingers. I felt bad, I asked him, please use the gloves. He said, by using gloves, couldn’t do work. I was remembering the place where I walk, dirty road in village where there is no toilets due to earthquake. Meanwhile, I also remember the smooth, fine and black gloves, which I saw these in the Shakespeare’s house in London. These were made by Shakespeare’s dad.

He also kept about 10 pair of shoes next to his side. Immediately, I recognized that it is his business, selling secondhand shoes as I am leading for Miteri Recycle Center for clothes.

I asked him, how much should I give? He simply said, no need. I really felt bad. He was working such hard and hazardous work at lethal place how can I left without paying. I asked again but he said No with louder tone. I was in dilemma, big dilemma. Did I disrespect him or other? I was thinking to give something but my bag was empty except 75 % filling up coke. I usually don’t drink coke but I bought that due to not having a water while get on bus.  I was thinking should I throw some money and run or leave this coke. Finally, I said, you are my brother, I am already 45 years and you are only 37 years. This bottle is clean, please drink it, and don’t throw away. He still denying and saying pardain..pardain- no…no. I ran way and cross the road for catching the bus for destination.

In my life, I met men from various walks of life. They were quite educated, rich, political, intellectual and all but not disciplined as Binod. Few characters of Binod matched with REAL man. Does any political party or leader or any development institution think about such shoemaker, their life, their contribution in rural and micro economics and challenges at their life in future.  He has dignity, determination, accountability towards family and country.  If he is saying honestly, he is an inspiring entrepreneur and more importantly a REAL man.