Intellectual Disability in Nepal: Challenges and way forward

‘’I have so many stories to share but tear off before speaking up. My heart just bleeds by overflowing of sorrows and happiness during the 13 years course of having son with intellectual disability. I really never ever imagine about having disable baby, I had expectation of normal child but he hadn’t had the normal activities even after one year. He was like a piles of muscles, growing up. I lost my eager to eat, drive of laugh and joining any social gatherings and I was crying 24/7 hours. Even I was thinking of my child on dream. When I knew that my son has intellectual disability, I was stigmatized, discriminated in the family, relatives and community. My sons also faced same form discrimination from his siblings, other family members and from neighbourhood. (crying…) even today, he doesn't get the care or direct conversation from his dad and I often encountered with beating, scolding due to having him or spending time for his care from my husband. I worked so hard to educate him for walking. I made walker from bamboo by myself, I had to take care of work at family and farm so I worked during night. I was so passionate and encouraged when he started to learn. Now, I haven’t had any regret of having child with intellectual disability. The support from my friends and my continuous training to my son, he manages his defection and involved in vocational training. I never give up. Now, I am proudly leading the campaign for educating my community though it is very challenging and often frustrating. ‘’

This is not a single story of a mother of child with intellectual disability from Syanja who economically, politically, culturally dependent on her husband and just literate in village. Many mothers, few fathers and relatives are facing same problem in Nepal. It is because of not having knowledge and skills on rights in general and rights of people with disability. More specifically, they don’t know and don’t like to know about the rights of intellectual disability due to de-facto in socialization process of Nepali community. Neither home, nor school, nor media, nor political parties, nor NGOs are talking about its underlying and secondary causes of intellectual disability, roles of state and non-state actors or not taking accountability largely. It’s a very heart broken scenario where most of them considered as a burden due to heavily imposed by the superstitious believes and practices such as intellectual disability is due to sin of earlier life, fault of parents or angry of god etc. Mostly, in Nepali community, superstitious believes are guided and shaped by the Hindu religion. For instance, sighted few examples from holy Garun Puran which is being use for death ritual as below;

1.    A person who killed cow in earlier life, would born with curve vertebra and dumb (chapter 3,5)

2.    A person who eat meat in earlier life, would born with red skin (Chapter 5)

3.    The person who drank alcohol in earlier life, would born with black teeth (Chapter 9)

4.    A person who dominate her/his teacher/guru, would born with epilepsy (Chapter 2,5)

5.    A person who ate sweets without sharing with others, would born with goitre (Chapter 5)

6.    A person who witnessed with falsification, would born with dump and hearing difficulty. A person who made fake on marriage, would born with hair lip, a person who steal books, would born as sight difficulty (Chapter 5,8).

These are few examples and they may a kind of precaution or informal disciplinary statements during these days. Unfortunately, they practiced as part of culture and institutionalized very well with negative connotation. There is no any scientific base at all thus no ground of stigma, discrimination and all. Sadly, such Garun Puran is been using throughout life with amplifying the stories. No one demystifying such myths, mis-perceptions and practices which is one of the biggest challenge in human right discourse.

Meanwhile, the power, gender roles also constructed from such religions and other institutions where the people with intellectual disability are ‘powerless’ in many ways though there are various forms of disability and intellectual disability. The more severe form of disability, considered more powerless. The status of power further determined of the sex, family educational and economic status and so many other factors. However, people with disability are encountered with various forms of gender based violence (GBV) at family, at day care centre, at vocational training centre, at street and everywhere. They experience the GBV ranges from sexual abuse and exploitation, rape, gang rape, hysterectomy, using contraceptives, negligence in daily care activities, medication etc. Such situation is more prone among the girls with intellectual disability due to gender stereotyped roles and patriarchal mind set and practices. They further encountered with layers of violence once they seek justice. There is still lack of culture of progressive attitude and by laws to increase the access to justice e.g. court seeking evidences of rape violence which is not possible in many circumstances. Many cases came at the door of justice when there are complications or beyond the control of meditation, political influences or any.

Cutting the story short, people with intellectual disability is the most excluded, marginalized community of this country though the new constitutions and international human rights instruments speak loudly about the right of them. It is the concern of human right and have multi-faceted so demanded a very serious attention in holistic manner. Thus, so many things to do on it includes, research and dissemination, engaging key stakeholders such as legal, police, livelihood, media, parents, NGOs, engaging men and boys, for tangible results, empowering people with intellectual disability and their families.  

Few photos of facilitated a workshop on context, challenges and way forward on Gender Based Violence in March 27, 2016 

Collective efforts demands to overcome Genocide in Karnali

Let me start the issue directly.  According to the Human Development Report 2014, the life expectancy of the Karnali people is 49 years where as 67.8 years of people who are living in 13 zones of Nepal. Here, the Karnali people lost 18.8 years (67.8-49 years). My mind is continuously counting ahead. Today, the average population of Karnali is 500,000 means the Karnali people lost their life by 9, 400, 000 (18.8 years’ x 500,000). If we calculate the number of population from the national life expectancy, the total LOST population is 138,643.1 (9,400,000 x 67.8 years) and 191, 836.7 if we calculate from Karnali’s life expectancy (9,400,000 x49 years). If we calculate the total number of LOST population for 226 years, it is 43,355,102 (191,836.7 x 226 years, the experts claimed that the Karnali is in isolation when the unification of Nepal taken place or about 226 years before).

The number of population either 138,643.1 or 191,836.7 or 43,355,102 is a perfect genocide within country or by state.  I convicted for calling genocide because it ‘is the intent to systematically eliminate a cultural, ethnic, linguistic, national, racial or religious group.’ My heart doesn’t allow to rest. Why it happened? It is happened by the negligence of the government. If so what is role of political leaders from Karnali? Karnali is always represented in parliament since beginning no matter of nature and name of political system. If the Karnali leaders are failed or incapable (I assumed) what is role of other leaders or parliamentarian?  Where is the role of political parties and their sister’s organization? What sorts of Nepal do Nepali political leaders seeking for? Do they know why Nepal has ranked under the least developing country in the world? Does it because of the statistics of Jhapa or Taplejung or Sarlahi or Gulmi or Myagdi or Kathmandu? No, not at all. It is because of the Karnali. Without intervening at Karnali, is it possible to uplift Nepal’s economic and human capital as Nepal signed at global forum. Signing and delivering the speech is similar forms of activities which can be done within cocoon of comfort zones. Cutting the story short, it is because of another layer of negligence of political parties and leaders largely. They are very busy and competent in leg pulling, pushing, bullying, criticizing and brining popular agenda for Karnali e.g. Karnali Employment Program.  The experiences conclude that they believe in words not for works or actions or results. More importantly, they are working for parties not for the people.

Except small chunk of elites and neo-elites, Karnali people are living in 2000-3000 BC as shown in Stonehenge, London. It is very true that many people are dying without experiencing of the basic services and infrastructure such as electricity, telephone, health, education and motor able roads. In March 17, 2016, my brother called me for seeking help in rescuing a new-born baby girl due to death of her mother from bleeding after childbirth at so called hospital at Mugu district on behalf of the local journalist from Mugu. It’s shame for yesterday and today that Nepal has very far away from the real ground. A single death of woman denotes many things at home, community and health institutions. To me, this death is more than urged to call for action to political leaders. Principally, political leaders should take the accountability. Unfortunately, in my 15 years’ experience in Jumla and Karnali, I didn’t feel the proactive role of political leaders and parties for cause except few exceptional cases. Where to start to solve the issues? Road is a vehicle to bring trade, tourism and basic services but no one considered as priority. Because none of their wives, daughters or any family members would die in Karnali due to not having blood, or emergency obstetric service, they are living either in Kathmandu or Nepalgunj or get down to these cities before expected.   

In this scenario, where is the accountability of non-state actors which are engaging in Karnali.  Do they calculate the cost of depriving of human capability and poverty in Karnali? How do they define the and analyse the relationship and impact of human right and democracy?

Where is the experts of this countries? Even today, the Dolpa and Humla are not connected by roads. The Karnali is rich in natural flora and fauna, biodiversity and tourism but no any significant plant and plan for it.  The government is sending the rice since 1970 or replacing bread and potatoes, making dependent, paralysed and pushing for the migration. Does anyone challenging the mode of working of state and non-state actor?

If we forget about the life expectancy, there are many others concerns who justify the genocide in Karnali further. The entire country experienced of boarder blocked for 6 months in southern boarder but the Karnali is in blockade since history.

Again, Nepal has put the signatory for Sustainable Development Goals 2030. As above mentioned, how does Nepal would prosperous without investing on and for Karnali. The all state and non-state actors exploiting the beauty and resources of Karnali in a way and the other engaged in genocide since 226 years.  In order to break this cycle, the interfere action (hastachhepkari niti ra karyakram) should be in place under the leadership of local people but never ever change by NGO work. Karnali needs efforts on road, trade, tourism followed by quality basic services. Each activity of an individual has been contributing either for peace or conflict. Let’s put all hands and efforts to contribute for culture of peace in Karnali to redefine the identity of Nepal globally.  

PS: forward to Kathmandu Post.

रङ सँग प्रेम छ,

आखी झ्यालमा,
हासो दिएको छ रङले,
शक्ती दिएको छ रङले,
प्रस्फुतन भएको छ अर्को रङ,
मलाई दलिदेउन मात्रै कहाँ हो र,
रङहरु बदलि बदलि स्वरुप,
भागीरहेछ, उफिरहेछ, उडिरहेछ,
हाप्पी होली, सबै को मुखैमा छ।
-----
मेरो क्यान्भास,
न हास्छ, न हसाउछ,
रङहरु पोत्न खोज्छु,
चुम्ब्किय बिकर्शन हुन्छ,
झुक्काएर फ्यलिदिन्छु रङ,
कहिले बग्छ रङहिन बनेर,
कहिले रङहिन हावा ।
++++
रङ सँग प्रेम छ,
रङ सँग आत्मा सम्मान।
रङ स्नगै छ संसार ।
रङहरु खोज्दै,
रङ्हरु भर्दै,
रङहरु सँग प्रेम्को माला बुन्दै छु ।
कहिले इन्द्रेनी बनाउछु जब ति उड्छन्,
कहिले होली मनाउछु, जब बसन्त संगै आउछन।
रङ्हरु सँग प्रश्न छ,
रङहरु सँग प्रेम
रङहरु जिबन हो,
बदलि रहन्छ अनी बदलाइरहन्छ ।

Nakchenagla, China from Gamgadi,Mugu, Campaign

Child Marriage and Dowry in Nepal

While going through the literature, panellists and audiences on child marriage and dowry conference at Kathmandu, March 18, 2016, organized by Child Marriage and Dowry Eradication, National Campaign, Nepal, I deeply hurt and found gap in understanding the concepts. Indeed, it demands inter- sectional understanding and inferential way forward to get results on time. Here is my stake regarding child marriage and dowry.  

1.       Biased in Analysis and Program: the literature, activists, and all are claiming that the child marriage and dowry exist in eastern Terai mostly. It is really not true.  As diverse culture and tradition of Nepal, the child marriage and dory is practising across country. Unfortunately, the western Nepal doesn't prioritize for the state and non-state actors for research and work. One size doesn't fit to all, the similar kinds of analysis and same forms of activities and strategies doesn't fit to all caste, regions, religions and all to abolish child marriage and dowry. In over 20 years’ career, I have travelled 6o districts of Nepal and it is prevalent everywhere in various degrees.  As result, girls are suffering from poor physical and mental illness, deprivation from opportunities such as education, work etc, low status of women in all sectors and levels, encountered with various forms of violence including fire, acid attack, rape and death.

2.       Where is 11 years of girl’s life: No doubt that the child marriage and dowry is everyone’s business and affected to women and men and girls and boys but girls and women are suffering from multi-folds of issues throughout their life. The child marriage is started about after12 years now a day. Sadly, the state and non-state actors forget the 11 years of girl’s life which is very crucial for her nutrition, health, education and preparation for menstrual health hygiene and so on. More importantly, the culture or socialization during childhood is very important to pull towards house/family or bonding with maternal house/ family and dreaming for future. For instance, in Jumla, a 7 years’ boy gets full dadu (a material which is used for putting out the stuffs like scoop) of milk or meat whereas 13 years’ daughter no or gets little milk and meat. In other hands, her brother, mother, grandparents are constantly saying to her, you should go other’s house, shut up, this property not for you, I am giving this food, sending good (private) school because he (son) would take care of me during old age where as you went to husband’s house. That kinds of conversations, girl grows with feeling of low status, confidence and insecure for her future gradually. In others words, these are the pushing factors for child marriage. The nature of dialect is bit different but the similar story at Janakpur, Morang, Jhapa and everywhere. Meantime, girls are growing or puberty starts. As results they are pulled by the opposite sex. They don’t see any consequences for future at all, only see the fun, entertainment, roaming new places etc. In many rural areas no matter whether it is Jumla or Parsa, girls keep on watching the Indian serials which also encourage for same. Even they don’t know about their bodily changes and not thinking about the immaturity for sex and baby. To cut the story short, girls like to elope in urban and many rural areas on their choice where the parents don’t like to get her marriage. As defined by WHO, they are not position for making choice because considered as child. Thus the culture, childhood is important to build her as physically, mentally strong and enhanced her negotiation and bargaining capacity of herself, family and community. Principally, school is   the second home of each child after home. Though many girls are out of school and government has program on education for all in (progress. But the school is not creating an enabling environment for the children specially girls). The school hasn’t have female teachers, gender responsive male teachers, no water and toilet for MHM and rampant of sexual abuses and exploitation or school is not safe at all. Thus, school and home is pushing out the girls and the age, romance are pulling them out.

3.       Recognizing the sex: the state and non-state actors often forget the point to hit the hammer for abolishing child marriage and dowry. What would be reflection of the immediate parents when they first recognize sex of their child. Mostly, they considered that daughter is burden for responsibility for rearing, schooling, wedding etc and son is considered as diamond regardless the class, education, region, religion, activism etc. Each action or behaviour of an individual is directly contributing either for peace or conflict or empowering their children or disempowering children but merely not recognized by the parents at large in Nepal.

4.       Gaps in campaign: Often the activities are more focused on awareness raising, policy advocacy. These activities are also important but the activities should reach out to the girls and parents who have baby girls.  The activities should focus on pulling and pushing factors which designated for positive actions/results rather inputs.

1.       Empower girls: the girls should educate or mentor in a ways that they denied early marriage and dowry by themselves. They have to challenge to their parents and societal norms at large.

2.       Empower parents by providing livelihood options: The parents who scared from their poverty for education and caring of girls, their confidence will have enhanced from livelihood opportunities. The livelihood activities should in full picture rather giving pieces of support. It should be interest and skills of parents and compatible with demands of markets.

3.       Ensure school for safety, confidentiality, respect and quality education (anti- sexual abuse and exploitation policy):  it has sets of activities, I don’t like to discuss details here. In short, school should hold children.

4.       Mobilize REAL boys, men and political leaders: Without knowing the theoretical base of advocacy, rights and all, many boys, men and political leaders are doing outstanding performance to eliminate child marriage and dowry. Such people should be hero and take leadership of the campaign.

5.       Celebration of real success:  The campaign should reach the bottom or ground to extract the successful stories who speak, stand and take action against child marriage and dowry. The successful stories suggest to capture few questions such as how they overcome with social stigma, what is their battles, how they determined to share property equally etc. Listening same stories, same people is so discouraging. I shared my story while I spoke. My parents were poor, illiterate and living in rural village of Chitwan in 42 years back. My parents transfer the culture of value of education so we all went to school and have good positions at this moment. They never pushed to have marriage as ours neighbours done. I am 42 years by certificate, I never married woman and I am working 100 % full time volunteer for organization called Action Works Nepal. My late mom and dad often worried about me when I was about 25 for my marriage but my negotiation power increased due to having education, property (dad allocated the piece of land to all 5 daughters, son, wife and himself 20 years ago while Nepal hadn’t have policy on it). Thus the bargaining or negotiation capacity is learned from education, property and equal behaviour from home. More importantly, the culture is human made so we can change according to our needs and rights. Now, in my community and family, girls are getting property from their parents.

6.       Provision of incentives:  The campaign should lobby with government to provide incentive to parents, girls and boys who defend the child marriage and dowry like scholarship or vocational trainings or placement of jobs etc. in order to speaking up or breaking the social norms at parental and girls/boys levels.

7.       Research, documentation and dissemination: the multi method research should be place in consideration of national diversity in order to understand the underlying causes of child marriage and dowry and to redress it.

8.       Pressurize for law enforcement: Who will take care of if any girl or boy or parent like to complain the case of child marriage and dowry. Merely none of the stakeholders particularly political leaders are not support in this regards. The policies on violence against women and girls are more focus on physical violence, trafficking, slavery but not such issues.  The use of facebook and mobile encourage to use it for raising their voice, enlarge their campaign and prompt response system in case of forced marriage or any other violence associated with it. Nepali community failed to enjoy with technology and usually confined with negative outcomes. Nepal has 68 % mountains so we encourage to make itlization (use of IT as much as possible in daily life of rural people) for progressive development.

Both child marriage and dowry are political issues and the outcome of gender discrimination, inequality, patriarchal mind-set of actors that fuelled by poverty, conflict, disasters and other human made disasters thus need proactive actions to overcome these issues. 

Participants of Program

An evidence of mine, a member of panellist, I don#t find the photo of mine at their facebook page so I posted it

म पागल हो।

हो रे,
म पागल रे ,
होला ....होला....
बैध्य बाले भनेका रे,
बिद्या बारीधिको निचोड् रे ।
के रे,
नेता रे
प्रगतिशिल नेता रे,
मानब अधिकारबादि नेता रे ?
बरिस्ट नेता रे,
मन्त्री रे,
प्रधान मन्त्री रे,
वकिल रे,
जे जे पो होस्,
पागल बनाउने तही होस्,
पागल भन्ने पनि तही होस् ।
+++++
हो
म पागल हो,
किन भने,
नसहने भएको छु म,
कुरो बुझ्ने भएको छु म,
कुरो सुन्ने गरेको छु म ।
थाहा छ,
न्याय र अन्याय छुटाउने बिबेक छ आज,
म लली पप्मा झुकिन्न आज,
लोभिन्न कुनै पद र पैसाले पनि ।
तेसैले म पागल हो,
तिम्रो पागल्पन्को पोल खोले मैले,
तिम्रो पद र प्रतिस्टामा धाबा बोले मैले,
तेसैले म पागल हो।
+++++
हिम्मत छ,
मेरो औषधी गर्न?
हत कडिले बाधेर मामाघर पुरौन,
हेरौ,
कोजान्छ जेल, को खान्छ धुलो,कोलाउछ बुटि।
हुन त,
तिम्रो पैसा छ,
पद छ,
एक हुल तिमी जस्तै मान्छे छन,
तिम्रो आबाज चर्को हुदो हो,
सबै बलेकै आगो ताप्दा हुन,
किन्भने,
उनिहरुलाई डर छ कतै,
तिम्रै हबिगत हुन्छ कि भनेर ।
++++
केही भन्नेहरु, केही गर्नेहरु,
सत्य कोपक्षमा उभने हरु,
यहाँ पागल भनिन्छन, पागल बनैएन्छन्,
तर म हत्ने छैन,
बोल्न सकुन्जेल म बोल्छु,
सकिन भने, मेरा शब्दहरु बोल्छन,
सोक्रेट् पागल हुन्थे यहाँ,
हुन्थे राईट दाजुभाइ,
पागल कै दर्जा पाएकी हुन,
माया अनजलु अनी योग्माया,
के भो त अर्को एक पागल थपिएर,
किन्भने,
यहाँ पागलहरु चाहिएको छ,
देश रोएको छ,
नभएर पागल्हरु ।
             
 
This is dedicated to all victims/survivors  who is blamed as crazy or madness by perpetrators by using power in a way and the other around. Thanks to all survivors who trusted me for sharing their pain and sufferings

Road: Nagchenagle, China from Gamgadi,Mugu

About a month ago, Naresh Bhandari called me for meeting. It was really big surprised. I knew him when he was underground. I met him several times in district level meetings, advocay and protest activities in Kathmandu but we never talk at personal level. I fully aware that he is the young action oriented politician and writer. During meeting (at restaurant of Kalikastha), I honestly said that he tested me for about 2 decade. I have never mind, I am ready to work with condition. The campaign for development should be non political because I never paint myself as political affiliation and will not too as well. I welcomed his offer because I am seeking for leader who simply believe in results, actions not for the lips service. I also have proposed with all political leaders from Karnali specially from Jumla several times. Unfortunately, no one get back to me regarding the work or actions.

I had meeting with him at Action Works Nepal's office a following a week and discuss in more details and division of work. Based on that, he prepared concept note in Nepali and I prepared in English. I started to meet, share, discuss about it such as with Binod Chaudhary, Paras Khadka, Bikram Pandey etc. We also met with Uttam Blon Lama, Saroj Dahal, Bikram Pandey.

Finally, the member of it increasing and we had organize a two different meeting in 16 March 2016 at meeting hall of Action Works Nepal and OUTLINE Media.The details will share later, here few pictures for reference.

Meeting with Political Parties from Karnali to discuss about the way forward

Meeting with Political Parties from Karnali to discuss about the way forward 

Meeting with govt employees  from Karnali to discuss about the way forward

Menstrual Restriction in Karnali: Call for Action for Peace, Human Right, Empowerment and Development at Martin Chautari

Please scrolled down for slides

Points before starting the presentation:

1. Great honoured to have you all and extended sincere thank you to all of you specially Martin Chautari and Karnali 2020 for creating this opportunity
2. I have shared this presentation from my 30 years battle against menstrual restrictions, studies, field works etc.
3. I had taken verbal and written consent for taking and sharing photos 
4.  This presentation dedicated to all girls and women who suffer from stigma, discriminations and others due to menstrual restriction
5. I used the word menstrual restriction instead of taboos, harmful traditional practices as an umbrella word

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Photo after talk program , may be with only women (Courtesy: Rameshori Pant)

Radha During Presentation (Courtesy: Amrita Lamsal)

Audience from front

अघोसित नागाहरुको शहर

पशुपतिको जात्रा हैन,
जहाँ घोसित नागा बाबाहरु बग्रेल्ती भेटिन्छन्,
यो त हो,
कल्पनै गर्न नसकिने,
महंगा बस्त्रले छोपेका,
ठुला ठुला कहलिने,
माथि माथि कुर्सिमा बस्ने,
अघोसित नागा बाबाहरु ।
वा रे वा ....
ठुला अस्पाताल्का,
तेस्तै नागा बाबाहरुको,
महँगा औषधीले च्यापेर,
मुटुको प्रेसर .
माइकको स्टान्ड्ले,
धानियेर् कामेका गोडाहरु,
बल गरेर न्वर्नदेखिको,
चर्को चर्को भाषान,
तर नागै,
उ पशुपतिमा छैन,
तर नागै छ,
एउटा अघोसित तर नागो बाबा।
बिचरा ,
टिठ लाग्ने हुल मान्छेहरु,
शिव खुशी हुन्छन रे जस्तै भ्रम पालेर,
झुमिन्छन, चाकरी गर्छन्,
अनी गर्छन् फोटो सेसन ।
नपुगेर टाल्छन् फेस्बुके भितोभरी,
बिचरा, नागा भक्तिहरु !
नागाहरुको कदर हुन्छ,
नागै छ यो संसार,
अघोसित नागाहरुको शहर,
तेसैले म भागदै छु।
जहाँ नागाहरु नभेटिउन ।

Mesntrual restriction is learned behaviour

I have known about menstruation when I saw blood on my late mom's clothes. I was about 7 years old. Because my mom had pregnant when I knew her as my mom. 

I was shocked when I knew about the stories regarding menstruation through Rishipanchami.

Since, I knew the story on menstruation, I dehumanize by myself and was living with low status, confidence and attempted for suicide due to feeling guilt of being girl.

Menstrual restriction is gender or learned behaviour  from family. I was interested whether my nephew aware or not as me at the same age about 34 years back. 

Here is audio of my nephew in March 12, 2016. Due to power cut, I unable to catch his picture but good audio. I have asked at first then I was interested so much and like to share with my blog's followers so I took record during second time.

Please listen him, it was so funny.

This is the video of my nephew who is 7 years old, he doesn't know about menstruation  due to not protracting menstrual restriction 

Menstrual Restriction in Patiyani, Chitwan, Nepal

March 11, 2016

In coordination with Nyayasam Nepal, Chitwan,specially Sabitri Bhandari, I have spent 3 hours on menstrual restrictions and women empowerment at Pakaudi Bazzar, Patiyani, Chitwan. The following points discussed;

• All participants (N-30) have been practising menstrual restriction
• The menstrual restrictions includes; touching, entering in to Kitchen, temple, not allow to do worship for 5- 7 days
• Surprisingly, 7 years old boy is cooking during period of his mom. He shared that he didn't like to cook but no way,mom guide from the corner and I cooked. I felt bad while cooking but happy that I never ever have menstruation. 
• They used cotton clothes mostly. Few women rarely use the sanitary pads while going to market. Sanitary pads is expensive for them.
• There are few changes among young girls though women don#t like to break by themselves due to fear from god or culture.
• According to their daughters, school hasn't have facilities for girls e.g. no water supply at toilet, no disposal practice, pads were spread across area of toilet.
• Grand parents also imposed for practising the restrictions
• Women counted two days if they have period at night, they like to deduct the days due to hardship in managing restrictions e.g. cooking by small kids during period 
• Most of the them, kept their daughter's at neighbour's house during first menstruation. Many of them also hadn't go to school.

• 

  

  Sanitary pads, sample for making locally, side 1

  
  

  

  Sanitary pads, sample for making locally, side 2

  

  Sample of handmade washable sanitary pad for discussion

Radha simply discussed about the sex and gender, shared her experience in menstrual restriction and how she broke all traditional practices since last 30 years where people didn't speak at all. She also discussed on policy regarding menstrual restrictions.

Bimala BK shared her point of view 

Women Leaders at grass root

ग्रहन त लाग्न पर्छ,

कुरा नकाटी अरुको,
मन साट्नै सकिन्छ कसरी ?
आउ बसम कुरा काटम् खुलेर,
मर्दा सँगइ लगुला, तिम्रो कसम, विश्वाश नतोड्नु ल।

पोको नफुकाइ मन्को,
मुटु साट्नै सकिन्छ कसरी ?
आउ बसम्,पोकोखोल्न बेर लाग्छ .
मर्न परे सँगै मरुला, तिम्रो कसम, भाईगो नभन्नु ल .

ग्रहन त लाग्न पर्छ,
महत्व भुज्न उज्यालोको,
आउ बसम, दुक्कलेकेही बेर,
ग्रहन त छनिक हो, तिम्रो कसम, जुनएे भर रहनु पर्छ ।

Engaging Men for Women''s Leadership on Natural Resource Management, Feb 22-26, 2016 Beshishahr, Lamjung, Hariyoban Program

I involved with men Engagement Alliance in Nepal since beginning, 2007, as Team Leader of Women Empowerment Project in CARE Nepal. Later, I was associated as SANAM (South Asian Fellowship for Addressing Masculinity) since 2011. Action Works Nepal and myself is keep on sharing the activities on engaging with men and boys.
I never get any opportunity to contribute Men Engagement Alliance such as research, training etc. where as I shared my update about my training on EMAP (Engaging Men for Accountability Practice). I may be the first and last person for certification as Global Resource Person.
I suddenly got phone call from alliance for training district. I said ok because I wanted to contribute for it.  It could be due to offer for many training at once.
Later,I knew that it is for Hariyoban/CARE. I was more interested because the friends who were working in my team are working as senior positions now such as Sabitra, Gupta. Many others like Sandesh, Indu,Popular are also working in a way and other. I wanted to learn from CARE team to what extend they are able to transform the community with such high level of leadership/power and resources. They all were so vocal while talking gender equality.  I happily joined. It was my earned engagement about after 2 years. I signed in paper Nrs 12000/day including tax without any questions.
Other facilitators had already chose the venue which was not proper practice to work in inclusion and gender equality. However, I was so happy to join Lamjung by many ways. I had very bad headache for more than 2 weeks though I went to Lamjung by myself. I took a Taxi from Pepsicola and Kalanki in  Nrs 1200, then tok a bus for Pokhara till Dumre in Nrs 350 and from Dumre to Beshishahar in Nrs 150.I hadn't know about the info on transport, I got the info from coordinator bit late. I also hadn't much because I had confident that I can survive within my country. I hadn't get the seats except taxi, used bunt (next to the driver),  reached at 7 pm. It was already dark though I found the hotel called Tukuche where I stayed couple of nights in 2012.

  I facilitated Harioban program's 5 days training at Lamjung for the participants who were coming from earthquake areas of Lamjung,Gorkha and Dhading for engaging men for women's leadership on NRM. It was started from Feb 22 and ended Feb 26, 2016. It was very good experience and felt proud when I saw the changes among participants within 3 days of the training. The CARE team and participants felt odd while not using the laptop for sessions and engaging them through participatory exercises.
 I also felt by seeing the mis use of resources at the name of development. However, I enjoyed and learned so many things.  Thanks to organizers for this opportunity. While writing this blog (March 8,2016) I don't take a money. CARE dropped me up to Kathmandu where partners staff were till Dhadingbesi road .

These are the basic practical traits for men champions or REAL Men , I shared from the experience from Jumla

Hotel Tukuche, where I stayed a night on my personal cost. I stayed at same room exactly four years ago Feb 2012

before and after of Bahundanda, trip

Scene from my room, fourth floor, Annapurna, Himshikahr and Lamjung Himal from my bed.

A hotel where the program organized, called Hotel Gate Way Resort I am not happy with this sculpture indeed very  discriminating,putting women naked 

Participants were busy in their personal reflection 

She is surya, a dalit from Lamjung, single mother, taking care of her girl baby,her mom and grand dad. She is also committed.

This is a way of wor load analysis between man and woman for changing gender roles

I inspired from her )Sangeeta Darai) who born at India,broughtup in Rukum and living at Gorkha ashusband's house, twokids, husband is illiterate and  she had passed 12 . She hesitate to spoke, joining such program at first.Later, she is shown as sharp and committed leader.  I do trust,love and respect her and her motto. 

Banner of Training 

Gaushahar, 

Inspired women leader, who is widow, dalit women leader 

Facilitating the session 

Group Photo after training

Group who were listening their friends 

5 days training over without using laptop and lecture